THE DETECTIVE SERIES
(Includes Private Eyes, Bodyguards and Amateur Sleuths)
[Shadowy figure appears in an alleyway - then Narrator speaks] "Danger.
Excitement. Adventure. Boston Blackie. Enemy to those who make him an enemy;
friend to those who have no friends."
[Voice of John Forsythe as
"Once upon a time there
were three little girls who went to the police academy. They were assigned
very hazardous duties."
[Scenes of the girls doing
mundane police assignments, like writing tickets and directing traffic]
"But I took them away from
all that and now they work for me. Ah? My name is Charlie."
[Phone ring at each of the
"It's Charlie, Angel. Time
to go to work."
[Revised opening] "Once upon there were three little girls who went
to the police academy. Two in Los Angeles. The other in San Francisco. And they
were each assigned very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that.
And now they work for me. My name...is Charlie."
[Voice of John Ireland] "These and hundreds of other legitimate claims
are paid by insurance companies. Once in a while some joker comes along with an
attempt to defraud. By any other name, they are still THE CHEATERS. That's where
I come in. I'm John Hunter, investigator for the Eastern Insurance Company."
CITY OF ANGELS/NBC/1976
[Narrator] "This is Los Angeles, one of the least corrupt cities in the
United States. And its police force is one of the most honest and efficient in
the world. But it wasn't always so."
CRAZY LIKE A FOX/CBS/1984-86
[Voices of Jack Warden as
Harry Fox and John Rubenstein as his son, Harrison]
[Phone rings] Hello?
Harrison, I need your
Dad, you keep forgetting,
I'm a lawyer, you're the detective.
Oh, come on son, All I
need is a ride. What could possibly happen?
HART TO HART/ABC/1979-84
[Voice of Lionel Stander] "This is my boss, Jonathan Hart, a self-made
millionaire. He's quite a guy. This is Mrs. H, she's gorgeous. What a terrific
lady. By the way, My name's Max. I take care of both of 'em, which ain't easy,
'cause their hobby is murder."
[2nd Season Opening] "This is my boss, Jonathan Hart, a self-made
millionaire, he's quite a guy. This is Mrs H., she's gorgeous, she's one lady
who knows how to take care of herself. By the way my name is Max. I take care of
both of them, which ain't easy cause when they met it was murder"
[TV Movie Opening]"This is my boss Jonathan Hart, he's a millionaire
self-made, and this is his wife Jennifer she's quite a lady. Oh, and that's me.
My name is Max. I take care of them which ain't easy cause when they met it was
[1983 Print Annual] "Hi, I'm Max, and I look after the Harts...which
ain't easy as when they met it was MURDER! Mr. Hart, Jonathan, is a self-made
millionaire who excels at everything, skiing, driving, deep sea diving, horse
riding, racing ... gee, I could go on and on...but let me say that he has the
extremely good sense...and great taste to choose as his wife, the gorgeous Mrs.
H, Jennifer, a lady who can really take care of herself. Well, actually, that's
just as well, because their hobby seems to be MURDER!. Trouble seems to just
follow them, and poor Freeway, that's Mrs. Hart's delectable little pooch, and a
real pal of mine, and sometimes I have to lead a helping hand...after all,
that's what friends are for isn't it? Anyway, I must get on as I have to prepare
lunch now, just for Freeway and me of course, Mr. and Mrs. Hart are off
detecting as usual."
HOLLYWOOD OFF BEAT/SYN/1952-53
[Voice of Melvyn Douglas] "This is Hollywood. It is a town like any other
town. There may be a few more pretty girls because of the pull of the motion
picture studios, but otherwise just another American town. And there is Steve
Randall, who knows Hollywood like the palm of his hand. Steve Randall is in his
own way a composite of Hollywood. He's seen everything a man can see anywhere
and has been disillusioned by most of it. And he belongs in Hollywood, for its
fame and so-called glamour are magnets for the money-hungry riffraff of the
outside world. They bring their greed to Steve Randall's town, and greed's
companion is trouble. And that's fine for Steve Randall because trouble is his
MARTIN KANE, PRIVATE EYE/NBC/1949-54
[Narrator] "Martin Kane, Private Eye...presented by Model...Dill's
Best...Old Briar Pipe Tobacco...and their new teammate...Sano cigarettes for
full smoking pleasure, yet only one percent nicotine." (Voice of William Gargan
as Kane) "This is Martin Kane with a story about a dime-a-dance girl, a Broadway
joint, a niece named Irma Field, and her uncle, a distinguished old gent named
Brooks Field who currently has his Brooks Brothers parked in my guest chair."
[Voice of Frank Lovejoy] "This is McGraw, just McGraw. It's enough of a
name for a man like McGraw."
THE MOST DEADLY GAME/ABC/1970-71
[Narrator with deep voice] "Murder is the most deadly game. These three
criminologists play it."
[Voice of Stephanie Zimbalist as Laura Holt] "Try this for a deep dark
secret: The great detective Remington Steele-he doesn't exist. I invented him.
Follow: I always loved excitement and so I studied and apprenticed and put my
name on an office. But absolutely nobody knocked down my door. A female private
investigator seemed so...feminine. So I invented a superior, a decidedly
masculine superior. Suddenly there were cases around the block. It was working
like a charm. Until the day he walked in, with his blue eyes and mysterious
past. And before I knew it, he assumed Remington Steele's identity. Now I do the
work and he takes the bows. Its a dangerous way to live, but as long as people
buy it, I can get the job done. We never mix business with pleasure. Well,
almost never. I don't even know his real name."
THE ROCKFORD FILES/NBC/1974-80
[The voice of James Garner
as Jim Rockford is heard as the answering machine clicks on...]
"This is Jim Rockford. At
the tone leave your name and message. I'll get back to you."
"Mr. Rockford. Arthur's
Hi-Fi. Your stereo's ready, but since your warranty expired in the two
months it was in our shop, you'll have to pay the $60 on the repair."
||Note: Each week a different
message is left on the answering machine. See "Telephones"
77 SUNSET STRIP/ABC/1958-64
[Narrator] "Sunset Strip is a body of county territory entirely
surrounded by the city of Los Angeles, a mile and half of relentlessly
contemporary architecture housing restaurants, bistros, Hollywood agents, and
shops where the sell is as soft as snowflake and just as cold."
T & T/SYN/1988-90
[Narrator] "T. S. Turner was a city smart kid fighting his way off the
street [as a boxer] until he was framed for a crime he didn't commit. Amy Taler
was a young crusading lawyer. She mounted an appeal to put Turner back on the
street, this time in a suit and tie, working as a private detective. Together
they are ...T & T."
[Narrator] "What your are about to see is not a news broadcast. Whenever
possible, the actual family members and police officers have participated in
recreating the events."
[Voice of Kristen Bell] (First Episode) "This is my school. If you go
here, your parents are either millionaires or they work for millionaires.
Neptune, California. A town without a middle class. If you're in the second
group, you get a job: fast food, movie theaters, mini-marts. Or you could be me.
My after-school job means tailing philandering spouses or investigating false
injury claims....(closing voiceover) Okay, it's a long shot, but I can't help
myself. I used to think I knew what tore our family apart. Now I'm sure I don't.
But I promise this: I will find out what really happened, and I will bring this
family back together again. I'm sorry, is that mushy? Well, you know what they
say. Veronica Mars, she's a marshmallow."
[Voice of Pamela
Anderson as Valerie Irons]
You guys don't understand. I got in a lucky punch. I'm not
a body guard.
But we are. Just be a figurehead. Your name on the door.
You'll probably never even leave the office. You help us pull
in the rich and famous. We'll do the rest. We're
professionals,. We'll take care of all the rough stuff.
So I'll never be in any danger?
Never. Never. Never.
Revised second season opening:
[Narrator] "The beautiful and lethal Valerie Irons plucked from obscurity
to head an elite Los Angeles bodyguard agency. They know how to get things
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