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RHOADES-D'ARCY, Marcy
(Married...with Children)
9766 Jeopardy Lane
Chicago, IL
Marcy is a loan officer at Kyoto National
Bank. She is newly married, ambitious, holds
extreme feminist viewpoints and drives a
Mercedes. Her husband, Steven Bartholomew
Rhoades works as a loan officer for the
Leading Bank of Chicago. To profess their
love, both Marcy and Steve wear matching
wedding bands. Marcy’s ring inscription
reads: “To our everlasting love, Steven”
Ultimately, their sex life is very active
and often kinky. |
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Living next door to Marcy are the Bundys, a
blue-collar family lead by Al Bundy, a former
football player from Polk High School who now
works as a shoe salesman at the New Market Mall.
Bottom line: Marcy's hates Al and he hates her.
They insult each other whenever they get the
chance. Steve Rhodes often laughed at Al's
put-downs of his wife, but was careful not to
let Marcy catch him do so.
When she's not a rockin' the bedposts with her
husband, Marcy enjoys a night out with the
girls. Al's wife, Peg Bundy and Marcy like to
visit male strip joints. Once Marcy lost her
wedding ring down the pants of an exotic
stripper named Zorro while cramming dollar bills
down his briefs. Luckily, he returned it to
next-door neighbor, Al Bundy who gleefully
informed Steve Rhoades with hopes of causing
some mischief..
Marcy's marriage to Steve ended soon after he
lost his job for giving a bad $50,000 loan to Al
Bundy who started a failed phone line called
“Dr. Shoe”: 555-SHOE. Steve then took a job with
Slither’s Pet Emporium and eventually became a
Forest Ranger at Yosemite National Park. From
time to time, he came back into Marcy's life
with irritating results.
After Steve left Marcy, she got drunk one night
and woke up the next morning married to a
handsome, but lazy ex-convict named Jefferson
Millhouse D‘Arcy who claimed to be a criminal in
the Witness Protection Program as well as a
former covert ops agent for the CIA (code name:
"Bullwinkle"), Allegedly, the government fired
Jefferson because he could not kill Castro whom
he had befriended.
A man who worshipped a good time, Jefferson's
work ethic was just the opposite of his new
wife. He never wanted to get a job, although
constantly urge to do so by Marcy. Following the
footsteps of his gigolo father, Jefferson
believed that he was too handsome to work and
just liked to live off Marcy's salary. He'd
perform in the bedroom, but that was the only
work he'd ever do around the house or elsewhere.
Occasionally, Marcy forced him to find a job,
but he always found a way out of it.
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Marcy & Steve
visit the Bundy house. |
Marcy &
Jefferson face-off with poor Al in the
middle |
If not pestering her husband (Steve or
Jefferson),
Marcy found time to interfere in the
efforts of Al Bundy, especially when Al Bundy's
male social group, NO MA'AM (National
Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood)
took on a cause. Jumping into action, Marcy was
quick to oppose Al's efforts with her own group
called F.A.N.G. (short for "Feminists Against
Neanderthal Guys"). Marcy's political agenda
supported all sorts of plights against women
whether they be fat, pregnant or ugly. And if
her group could keep men from enjoying their
trips to the local nudie bar ("The Jiggly
Room"), so much the better.
When Al Bundy had enough of Marcy and wanted to
drive her from his home, he mocked her skinny
stature by using quips relating to a chicken,
often calling her "Chicken Legs." Once Al said
"Look what's crossed the road. It can't be a
chicken, it hasn't got breasts...just nuggets."
Not to be out done in the insults department,
Marcy retaliated in kind. During the holiday
season she recited this yuletide greeting to Al
in song:
Marcy's song for Santa-Al
Bundy the no-man,
he's as bald as he can be.
With the hair in his nose and rot on his toes,
he's as bald as he can be.
Bundy the no-man,
he's as bald as he can be.
He's into old age,
making minimum wage,
he's as bald as he can be...
Continued on Page 2 >
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