Write "Norm's" Punchline Contest - On Friday, February 9th, 2001, the ABC Network program NORM starring Norm McDonald made television history by being the first primetime sitcom to use jokes provided by the viewing audience at home. On a previous aired program Norm instructed his viewers to help him provide the punch line for some of the jokes to be used on upcoming program "Norm vs. Shelly and Danny." From the thousands of entries the program chose four winners. They were:  W. Wilson of Columbus, Georgia; George Stragalas of Union, New York; David Sutton of Los Angeles, California; and Ivan Rodriguez of Fayetteville, Georgia.  Some runner up punch lines were aired at the end of the program. The ABC Network website [http://abc.go.com/ primetime/ norm/norm_contest_home.html] posted these comments about the contest:

 "It was a pretty tough job, as many of the entries were excellent. A few of them were, to be polite, not-so-excellent, and some were downright scary. (Note to Elmo Lincoln in Omaha, Nebraska - your entries were so frightening that we sent them directly to the FBI. Expect a knock on your door very soon.)"

 Some runner ups in the competition had their punch lines aired at the end of the show. The four scenes that used the winners punch lines follow:

Scene # 1  [Denby enters office, complaining about the men's bathroom]
Laurie:	...I'm sure that it's not so bad.
Denby:	Not bad? I've held my urine until my bladder distended and hung over my belt. [TO NORM] What are you looking at?
Norm:	Nothing, sir. This stunned expression signifying utter revulsion is how I always look.  (submitted by W. J. Wilson of Columbus, GA)

 

Scene # 2  [Inside the Office]
Norm:	I want you to know that I don't care how long it takes, I'll wait for you. Since we broke up, I haven't even touched another woman.
Taylor:	[Getting Angry] Norm, you told Danny how I felt! I can't believe I slept with you!
Shelly:	How did you have sex with her without touching her?
Norm:	Well, it wasn't my best work, I'll tell you that. (submitted by George Stragalas of Union, NY)

 

Scene # 3  [Denby enters office, in a huff]
Denby:	Laurie, you don't know how bad it is in the men's room. Norm, tell her.
Norm:	There's a men's room here? Man, the girl's at the donut shop are gonna be glad to here that.
Laurie:	Norm, you've been using the bathroom inside the donut shop?
Norm:	There's a bathroom inside the donut shop?  (submitted by David Sutton of Los Angeles, CA)

   

Scene # 4 [Denby enters office, in a huff]
Denby:	Well, that tears it! I just went into the women's restroom. Guess what I found out?
Norm:	Bear in mind, sir, those aren't professional poets, and they could be talking about somebody else named Denby. (submitted by Ivan Rodriguez of Fayetteville, GA)