Stones (Shatner) - In the fall of 2005, the
74-year-old Montreal born actor, William Shatner who played the role
of Captain James T. Kirk on the futuristic STAR TREK series had to
face a less than stellar 21st century medical procedure as he passed
a kidney stone the old-fashion way after being rushed to a nearby
Los Angeles hospital by ambulance on Tuesday, October, 18th while
working on the ABC legal drama BOSTON LEGAL.
After passing the kidney stone, William Shatner recalled "It was so
big, you'd want to wear it on your finger. And "If you subjected it
to extreme heat, it might turn out to be a diamond."
A few days later, Shatner appeared on LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY and
talked of his ordeal with the stone. "The purity of the pain--they
had to give me morphine...It was just unbelievable pain, he said.
"It made you kind of think about what pain is. It was awful."
To bad Ol' Bill couldn't have used some of the futuristic medical
techniques from his classic STAR TREK series. Here's how it could
Captain's Log: [STARDATE: 5928.9] "On my last trip to planet Omicron
Seti III, Dr. McCoy noted an anomaly in my transport pattern. He
diagnosed it as a developing kidney stone. Arranging a visit to
sickbay, "Bones" used transport technology to "beam" the stone from
my kidney. The procedure took less that a minute. I felt no pain or
side affects. I reported back to duty within the hour."
A few months later, Shatner handed over his calcium specimen in
January, 2006, after he accepted an offer from the CEO of GOLDEN
PALACE casino, a Canadian-based online betting site, to buy his
Initially, Shatner was offered $15,000, but after a little
negotiation a deal to sell the stone was made for $25,000. Taking
things into perspective, Shatner had earlier received over $100,000
for his STAR TREK-related garment, so the price seemed to be in
order for his celebrityhood.
The auction price included the surgical stint and string used to
permit passage of the stone. The bizarre deal was brokered by Darren
Julien, president of Los Angeles-based Julien's Auctions.
However, there were two conditions to the sale. First, all the
proceeds (100 percent) were to benefit HABITAT FOR HUMANITY to build
a house. And the second condition? Shatner retained
visitation rights to his now famous body part.
After the purchase, Golden Palace, CEO Richard Rowe jokingly eluded
to the opening lines of the STAR TREK series by saying "This is a
'bold' new addition to our fleet."
What were Shatner's feeling on the whole bizarre auction? As he
said, "This takes organ donors to a new height - to a new low,
Late night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel, who originally wanted to
conduct an on-air auction on his show, called the Shatner artifact,
"the ultimate 'Star Trek' collectible."
For those of you who want to see, Shatner's kidney stone, the Golden
Palace will soon launch a traveling Museum that highlights their
unique collection of strange items.
When it comes to your town, keep an eye out for such weirdness as a
partially eaten cheese sandwich thought to contain the image of the
Virgin Mary, a Britney Spears' positive pregnancy test, the infamous
soccer ball David Beckham miss-kicked to lose a game for England at
the Euro 2004 tournament, a walking cane allegedly possessed by a
grandfatherly ghost, a cooked pierogi with the likeness of Jesus
Christ and a Abraham Lincoln-shaped plastic French fry from a
McDonald's Super Bowl XXXIX ad (worth $75,100).
In June of 2005, GOLDEN PALACE.COM also paid $10,000 to a woman
named Karolyne Smith to ink a permanent tattoo of their corporate
logo on her forehead. She allegedly performed the stunt to obtain
money for her son's education. The tattoo artwork was done by SI
TATTOOING in Salt Lake City.
TRIVIA NOTE: Another Shatner related
medical story appeared in the satire website PugBus.net (a site
filled with fictional editorials). Their Shatner related article
featured the results of two so-called psychiatric research fellows
at Edinburgh University (Paul Fleet, FRCPsych, and James Alexander,
FRCPsych) who wrote a paper in 2005 which identifies a syndrome
called Epiomnistic Shatnerism which is found predominantly in adult
As explained to Raymond Reith of The Lancet, by James Alexander,
"The isolation of Epiomnistic Shatnerism basically started with the
recognition of a variant form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD),
which generally shows itself in the form of delusions of power and
How did William Shatner feel about the whole thing? Well, let's just
say that I heard it from a friend, who heard it from a friend, that
during a swank Hollywood party as the music of Carly Simon's "Your
So Vain" played in the background, William Shatner was allegedly
heard saying "Beam me up, Scotty. I think I've just been insulted!"
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