 Conehead Food - On the NBC late
night comedy show SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE comedians Dan Aykroyd,
Jane Curtin and Laraine Newman portrayed the Coneheads, alien
residents from the planet Rumulak who crash-landed on Earth and
secretly lived under the guise of a suburban New Jersey family.
One of their most obvious customs was their eating habits which
included sloppily drinking mass quantities of beers (six-packs)
and gulping chunks of uncooked chicken flesh (as well as
blueberry Eggos, Pop Tarts and light bulbs).
Years later the
motion picture The Coneheads (1993) gave us more insight into
their eating habits such as the custom of going to what the
Remulakans called a "House of Intake," a place similar to an
earthling restaurant.
These eateries seated patrons at a table
equipped with tubes that were used to suck out a variety of food
stuffs. All food served was pre-prepared and stored in tanks
beneath the serving tables. When the food supply needed to be
replenished waitresses refilled appropriate vessels. The Remulakan's favorite dishes included:
- Sorb Chunks - a yellow tofu-like food made from fossil sediments
from ancient plants and animals that were mined from the ground
much like earthlings worked coal deposits.
- Pulp Swerl - white fibrous pudding chemically produced and
processed in large factories.
- Blargg - (blue granulated fungus grown in large holding tanks
and harvested like a cranberry bog.
- Gelatosphere - a legal drug akin to marijuana which is popular
with musicians and delinquent youth. A bong-like broiler burner
is kept beneath a table to generate sufficient amounts of
Gelatophere smoke to inhale during meals.
- Plotts - a radioactive drink similar to beer created from the
fermented purple berries from the sacred Plottsberry tree.
- Garthok - a six-legged beast with tusk-like fangs barbecued over
a Flametable. It's milk can be used to process Gathok cheese.
For additional information on the planet Remulak read: "Coneheads:
The Life and Times of Beldar Conehead" by Tom Davis and Dan
Aykroyd - as told to Gorman Seedling, INS Commissioner, Retired
(Hyperion, 1993).
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