"I, Jill, Swear..." - On the sitcom HOME IMPROVEMENT/ABC/1991-99 home fix-it guru Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor (Tim Allen) got frustrated with his wife for always messing with his garage tools without asking permission first. To make him feel better he made his wife Jill (Patricia Richardson) take the following oath. "I, Jill swear by this Binford Cordless Ratchet Wrench, I will never touch my husband's tool bench ever again." Jill ran away when Tim, as if anointing her, said "You must now be smeared with the golden grease of distain."