Al Bundy's Ferguson Toilet - The sound of a toilet
flushing became commonplace on the domestic situation comedy MARRIED
Al sits on a Ferguson, the toilet of his dreams
The bathroom was Al's way of escaping the world, his job and his family. On
one occasion, he decided to purchase the toilet of his dream, the kind his
father used when Al was a kid.
The following is an excerpt from episode "A Dump of My Own" as Al wheeled a large brown wooden
box into his living room and revealed the treasure within which he planned to
as a centerpiece for the perfect bathroom.
[Al pushes a wooden crate on a dolly into his house]
||It's here! Where's Bud? I want him to see
this. Bud. Get down here. Family. Gather round.
||What is it, dad?
||My destiny, son. When I was a young boy
I told myself when I grew up I would have one thing. A toilet bowl like my
||I thought it was a head like a peanut.
He had one of those, too.
||You're not gonna ruin my moment, Peg. Now
stand back and feast your eyes on...THIS!
[Al reveals a plain white toilet]
||Is it just me, or is that a toilet?
||Not just a toilet. A Ferguson, the king of
bowls. [moving to the couch] Bud sit down and let me tell you the story of
the Ferguson. Now these babies are made in Maine, you know, at the little
Ferguson factory. It's the
Stradivarius of toilets and my dad could play it like a violin. Yes, I'll
never forget the time my dad took me on a trip to Maine, to visit the
factory. I had to go to the bathroom. I begged my dad to
pull into a
truck stop. He said no. "Wait till we get there. It will be worth it."
||Excuse me here, dad, but a toilet is a
||Bud, the toilets today aren't worthy of the
name. They come in designer colors, they're
too low, and when you flush 'em they make this little weak almost
Not a Ferguson. It only comes in white and when you flush it...Bam!
Whooosh! That's a man's flush, Bud. A Ferguson says, "I'm a toilet. Sit
down and give me your
best shot." Oh, if only a Ferguson could speak, the tales it would tell.
Now, I've got one of my very own. Yeah. I just wish dad could be
al... [choked up with tears]
||[Speaking to Peggy and Kelly] This
time, I don't think he's coming back.
||[Al sits on the toilet. and looks upward] Oh,
look dad. I'm sitting on my own Ferguson. Just like you always knew I would.
||Remember this at the trial, kids.
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