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Rules & Regulations - Miscellaneous
Ironhead Haynes Commandments - Macho rules of manhood mentioned on episode No. 178 "Legend of Ironhead Haynes" on the situation comedy MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN/FOX/1987-97

Al Bundy Receives the Macho Rules of Ironhead Haynes - MARRIED WITH CHILDREN
Al Bundy receives the mandates of Ironhead Haynes

Shoe salesman Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) is forced to stop insulting his customers when a fat woman complains to his boss.

Disgusted with political correctness, Al and his NO MA'AM cronies (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood) seek out the advice of the macho legend Ironhead Haynes.

Ironhead passes on the following ten (nine) commandments:

  • "Rule 1. It is OK to call hooters 'knockers' and sometimes 'snack trays'
  • Rule 2. It is wrong to be French
  • Rule 3. It is OK to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder
  • Rule 4. Lawyers, see Rule 3
  • Rule 5. It is OK to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes
  • Rule 6. Everyone should car pool but me
  • Rule 7. Bring back the word 'stewardesses'
  • Rule 8. Synchronized swimming is not a sport
  • Rule 9. Mud wrestling is a sport
  • Rule 10. Err..., that's it."


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