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 TV Character Bios

FINCH, Dennis Quimby
(Just Shoot Me!)
Apartment # 803
New York City, NY (Manhattan)
Dennis is an executive assistant. He is single, a wise-cracker and an officious power-hungry brown-noser who works for Jack Gallo, the publisher of Blush, a sleazy fashion magazine.

David Spade as Dennis Finch - JUST SHOOT ME!

Born in Albany, New York, Dennis attended Hudson River Junior College where joined the cheerleading team. Some people think Dennis is gay, but he is definitely not. Dennis loves to fantasize about beautiful models, watch porn films and likes to cuddle after sex. In general, Finch has been described as “a self-centered horny pig who’d stop at nothing to get laid.” Surreptitiously, Dennis writes articles for the “Dear Miss Pretty” advice column. Dennis also likes to collect action figures and ceramic kittens.

For companionship, Dennis kept a fluffy white award-winning pure-bred cat named Spartacus in his apartment. One day, Dennis took his cat to work and it accidentally died in a collision while publisher Jack Gallo and his daughter, Maya were racing remote control model cars around the office. Grief stricken [and not knowing how the cat died] Finch stuffed Spartacus and one day placed the mounted remains of his dead feline on Jack Gallo’s desk. Jack’s guilt became so overwhelming [he thought the cat was talking to him] that he confessed his misdeed to Dennis.

When it comes to love, Dennis had his share of romantic ups and downs. He manipulated an insecure, neurotic, vulnerable supermodel named Adrienne Barker to the altar when she was feeling down about her body and career. But, their marriage eventually floundered when Finch and Adrienne realized they are very different from one another and that the INS suspected Adrienne (a Canadian) had married Finch to keep her citizenship when her visa expired. In the end, Finch and Adrienne (who both admitted to being sex-addicts) departed friends.

To keep his libido in condition, Dennis lusted after a new employee named Vicki Costa who was recently hired by Jack Gallo. And then Dennis dated a cover model called Kelly who turned out to be a lesbian and who thought Dennis was a woman.

Throughout it all, Dennis never tired of propositioning Maya Gallo to sleep with him or, at the very least, let him take a peak at her private parts. Once when an angry Maya told Finch to "Bite Me!" he quickly replied "On that tiny hiney? Don't mind if I do!"

Cast of JUST SHOOT ME
Dennis & his pals Nina, Jack, Maya, Elliot

Dennis' relatives included his mother Fantasia Olympia Finch. She is a 100 percent wholesome, goody two-shoes. When Dennis' mom visited Manhattan, he introduced her to his boss Jack Gallo with hopes that the two would became romantically involved and eventually marry. But, the best made plans of mice and Finch were soon to go asunder and Finch's mom returned to Albany husbandless but still happy. As for Dennis' grandmother, he learned a valuable lesson at the age of six when he accidentally walked into the bathroom and saw her naked. He learned to knock.

Dennis’ childhood buddy was Bert. They were close friends and made a solemn vow to meet up with each other when they became adults. To seal the deal, they tore up a treasured picture of Kwai Chang Caine. When they did meet up, Dennis discovered Bert had a sex change operation and was now a luscious blonde called Brandy. Oh the temptation!

When not on the job, Dennis earned extra money teaching at Traffic School [or as he likes to call it "Traffic Academy"]. He is also a dues paying member of the Future Magicians of America and he likes to go to sci-fi conventions and cat shows.


SOME FINCH - ISMS

Dennis:

Oh, I just remembered. You're boring. And my legs work.


Nina: I like to think of my body as a temple.
Dennis: Which explains why there's a line to get in on Friday nights.

Dennis:

I've always felt there was something special about me. You know a hummingbird once landed on my ear?


Dennis:

What we need is a quiet place where you can feel warm and safe and protected. Let's go to the supply closet.


Dennis:

(Dennis recites a poem)
The Ice Pelican:
Slap it on the bing bong
Lick it like a ding dong
Nunchucks on the fly
Corny beef on rye
Watch my lizard cry
Hitler.


Dennis:

Crank it, spank it, smack it on the bing-bong.


Dennis:

All women are just two drinks away from a girl-on-girl adventure.


Dennis:

Alright, that's it! It's time for a Finch attack! Slap it! Flap it! Rub it all around!


Dennis:

If I get killed, tell Courtney in accounting I love her and erase all the porn on my computer.


Dennis:

You couldn't score in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas.


Elliott: I'm creepy?
Dennis: Like a backrub from grandma.

Dennis:

Intellectual and stimulating? Hmmm... I could read Shakespeare while you spank me.


Dennis:

My father once told me that good things will happen to good people. Now I know he was wrong.


Elliott:

No way. Last time I took you on a photo shoot with me, you walked in on Kate Moss taking a shower.

Dennis:

It was an innocent mistake. I was trying to walk in on Elle McPherson.


TRIVIA NOTE: Born in Birmingham, Michigan on July 22, 1964 and raised in Scottsdale, Arizona, David Spade aspired to be a standup comedian (working in a skateboard shop until he found success).

In 1991, he won a spot as cast member and writer on NBC's SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE where he created a number of memorable characters including the sarcastic "Hollywood Minute" reporter on the "Weekend Update" segment, the "buh-bye" flight attendant; and Dick Clark's condescending receptionist, who once said to Jesus Christ "...and you are?"

Spade was nominated for a Golden Globe in 1999 and 2000 and an American Comedy Award in 1999 for his role on "Just Shoot Me." He has since appeared in such films as The Benchwarmers (2006).  Dickie Roberts, Former Child Star (2003), Joe Dirt (2001), 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag (1997), Black Sheep (1996), Tommy Boy (1995), P.C.U. (1994), Saturday Night Live - The Best of 1993 (1994), Coneheads (1993), Light Sleeper (1992) and Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987).


JUST SHOOT ME!/NBC/1997-2003

Laura San Giacomo as Maya Gallo
George Segal as Jackson "Jack" H. Gallo
Wendie Malick as Nina Van Horn
Enrico Colantoni as Elliott DiMauro
David Spade as Dennis Quimby Finch
Rena Sofer as Vicki Costa
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as Adrienne Barker Finch
Brian Posehn as Kevin Liotta
Chris Hogan as Wally

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