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GILLIS, Dobie
(The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis)
(
Springfield-4682
c/o The Gillis Grocery Store
285 Norwood Street
Central City, USA
Dobie is an average, all-American teenager
who attends Central City High School. And
like the typical teen, Dobie has three
things on his mind - girls, girls and girls.
While he waits for that special someone to
come along, he lives above his parent's
grocery store with his father, Herbert T.
Gillis and his mother, Winifrid "Winnie"
Gillis. |

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Whenever Dobie tries to get money from his
tightwad father to go on dates, Herbert T.
Gillis (who has the first dollar he ever earned)
let's loose his signature catchphrase "OOOOO, I
gotta kill that boy!" Luckily, Dobie's mother is
always there to calm her husband down. When
Dobie neglects his in-store chores, Herbert
calls his son a "bum". A veteran, Herbert
constantly reminds Dobie that "I was in the Big
One – W W Two!" Herbert is also a member of the
Benevolent Order of the Bison Lodge.

Winnie and Herbert T. Gillis
Other relatives in the Gillis' clan included
Dobie's older brother, Davey; Dobie's cousins,
Duncan "Dunky" and Virgil T. Gillis; and
Herbert's brother, Tim (Duncan's father).
Winnie's relatives were Wilfred, her brother;
Gladys, her sister; Winnie's mother, and
Winnie's other sister (who lives in Cleveland).
The first time we meet Dobie Gillis, he is
meditating on a park bench with his elbow on his
knee, and fist tucked under his chin. This is
what Dobie had to say:
"My
name is Dobie Gillis and I like girls. What am I
saying? I love girls! Love 'em! beautiful,
gorgeous, soft, round, creamy girls. Now, I'm
not a wolf, mind you. No, you see a wolf wants
lots of girls, but me? Well, I just want one.
One beautiful, gorgeous, soft, round, creamy
girl for my very own. That's all I want! One
lousy girl! But I'll tell you a sad, hard fact.
I'm never gonna get a girl. Never. Why? Because
to get a girl you need money. And standing
between me and money is a powerful obstacle: a
POWERFUL obstacle!" [Dobies'
Dad]
At Central City High School, Dobie interacts
with number of interesting
people. There is the teaching staff which
includes Professor Leander Pomfritt, Dobie's
English teacher (who calls his charges "young
barbarians" and some days wishes that he'd gone
into another line of business like selling air
conditioners or aluminum siding; and Dr. Imogene
Burkhart, the attractive Biology and Psychology
instructor.
On the student body side, there is Dobie's
beatnik pal, Maynard G. Krebs (who calls Dobie
"Good Buddy"); Zelda Gilroy, a plain-looking,
super-intelligent female (who loves Dobie - she
calls him "Poopsie"); and Thalia Menninger, the
beautiful but unattainable girl of Dobie’s
dream. She selfishly wants to improve Dobie's
status in life so she can live large with
"oodles and oodles of money." Her favorite
perfume was an $18 an ounce perfume called MMMM.
Thalia's family included a "60-year-old father
with a kidney condition, a mother who isn't
getting any younger, a sister who married a
loafer and a brother who is becoming a public
charge."
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Dobie and Thalia
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| Milton
Armitage |
Clarice
Armitage (later Clarissa Osborne, Sr.) |
Chatsworth
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Also in attendance at Central City High School
were two spoiled rich kids. First, there was
Milton Armitage (who calls Thalia "Mouse") and
later Chatsworth Osborne, Jr., the heir to the
Osborne National Bank fortune. His blood type
was "R" (for Royal). Both Milton and Chatsworth
(who called Dobie "Dobie-Do") were rivals for
Thalia's affections. And while each could afford
Thalia's "caviar tastes," she still kept
returning to Dobie with the hopes that somehow
she can make a wealthy man out of him.
Unfortunately, Dobie never matches up to her
high ideals.
After Thalia departed the scene, Dobie pursued
Linda Sue Faversham, another stunning beauty
with a similarly money-hungry disposition. Like
Thalia, she needed to find someone successful to
marry and "support her dismal family." Later,
Linda tutored her beautiful young sister, Amanda
Jean to find a rich husband, as well.
Unfortunately, Dobie's cousin Duncan Gillis fell
head over heels for her. But, he too, soon found
out that such women were not, as his cousin
Dobie explained, "meant for slobs like us."
Continued Next Page >
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