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In the pursuit of love, Dobie did a bunch of dumb
and
desperate things to impress or gain the attention of Thalia and other
potential sweethearts. Here is a select list of those endeavors:
-
Pretends to be terminally ill
-
Rigs a raffle at a movie theater for
money to take Thalia to the prom
-
Borrows fancy clothes from a local tailor to
better his wardrobe
-
Sells sandwiches at a school picnic to make
dating money
-
Competes with Milton Armitage for the lead
role in the school play
-
Feigns a disease to be near an attractive
older nurse
-
Steals a rival football team's goat mascot
-
Fist fights with Milton Armitage for the title
of "Top Fist"
-
Per Thalia's suggestion, Dobie reads a book on positive thinking to increase
his mental powers
-
Goes on a hunger strike to win Thalia
-
Lies about joining the navy to impress a
girl's father
-
Takes a job in a shoe store to impress a
girl's father
-
Exaggerates his father's WWII military record
to impress a girl with a military family
-
Takes a job as a waiter in a sorority house.
In between his romantic antics, Dobie and his pals
hangout at Charles Wong's Ice Cream Parlor that sells 31
Celestial flavors (or as Charlie would say "Flabors"). And, of
course, if Dobie needs some
private time, he sits on the well-worn park near the
"The Thinker"
statue, and contemplates how to solve his
dilemmas, which generally revolve around girls or not having enough money
to go on a date with a girl.
Dobie and Zelda Talk to Charlie Wong
While Dobie is always on the lookout for a beautiful girl, his
faithful friend
Zelda has already found the man of her dreams, namely Dobie. Despite constant
rejections, Zelda stoud-heartedly maintains her love for Dobie and knows that one day he
will give in and finally realize that she is the woman he really needs to
make him happy. Whenever Zelda reminds Dobie that she is the one for him,
she squinches/crinkles her nose, which triggers a similar reaction in Dobie
and the phrase "Now Cut that Out!"
After all, Dobie knows what's best for him and it's not Zelda. Or so he
thinks. Zelda's relatives included six sisters, her mother Edna Gilroy,
and her father, Walter Gilroy.
 Dobie's goateed friend and
constant companion Maynard G.
Krebs (The "G" stands for Walter) likes jazz, plays the
bongos, collects tin foil, enjoys monster movies [The Monster That Devoured
Cleveland is his favorite film] and positively hates to work. Whenever anyone uses
the word “Work” within hearing distance of this bearded bohemian, it
causes him to wildly flinch and involuntarily shout "Work!” When he's not
hanging with Dobie, Maynard stays home (1343 South Elm Street) with his
pet armadillo Herman, visits Riff Ryan's Music Store to listen to
records, watches the old Endicott Building being torn down or observes
workman paint the white line down the center of the Elm Street. Maynard's catchphrase greeting is "You Rang?"
As for clothing, Maynard's fashion sense leans on the side of worn
jeans, comfortable sneakers and a tattered sweat shirt with frayed, torn off
sleeves. Maynards' relatives included his father, his mother Alice Krebs
(aka "Ethel"), his cousin, Jerome Krebs; and three other cousins, Flopsy,
Mopsy and Cottontail. The longest word in Maynard's vocabulary is
"Delicatessen." Oh, and he also walks in his sleep.
PFC Gillis and Krebs
After high school, Dobie
and Maynard joined the peacetime Army for a while but then returned to civilian life and enrolled in
S. Peter Pryor Junior College
where they once again took classes from their former high school
instructor Professor Promfitt. For an extra curricular activity Dobie worked as second assistant editor at the
Pryor Crier, the
college's newspaper, as well as a DJ on the college radio station KSPP.
A short time later, Dobie finally realized
that his search for the perfect woman was at an end. It was Zelda that he
had been looking for all along. They married and
by the age of 40, Dobie had partnered with his father to run the Gillis
Grocery Store business (later called the Gillis Market and
Pharmacy). Meanwhile, Dobie and Zelda had a son named Georgie who
eventually faced the same trials and tribulations in high school that his
Dad, Dobie went through so many years ago.
Dobie's friends, too, had grown. Maynard had
become an entrepreneur and the still spoiled, Chatsworth Osborne Jr. (called
"you nasty boy" by his mother
Clarissa "Mumsey" Osborne, Sr)
had found time to continue his lineage
with an equally pompous child - a girl named Chatsie Osborne III. Other Osborne relatives included his cousins, Sabrina Osborne,
Pamela Osborne and Edwina Kagel, a third cousin twice removed.
Finally in 1988, the now well-to-do Thalia Menninger, who regretted not snatching up Dobie years
earlier, returned to town and caused havoc by threatening
to close down the local economy unless she got her man. In the end, Dobie stayed
true to Zelda, and once again, all was well in the little town of Central
City, USA.
And so the moral of the story is "You
can't always get what you want, but if you try some time, you just might
find, you get what you need." Just ask Dobie
who finally found that special someone that he could call his own.
And in the end, isn't that what we're all
looking for?
Cupid Zelda hits her target (Dobie)
Theme
Song Lyrics
Dobie, wants a little cutie,
Dobie, wants a little beauty,
Dobie wants a gal to call his own
Any size, any style, any eyes, any smile,
Any Jean, any Jane, any Joan.
Oh Dobie, wants a girl who is dreamy,
Dobie, wants a girl who's creamy,
Dobie, wants a girl to call his own.
Is she blond, is she tall, is she dark, is
She small, Is she any kinda dreamboat at all
No matter, he's hers and hers alone.
Continued Next Page >
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