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In the pursuit of love, Dobie did a bunch of dumb and desperate things to impress or gain the attention of Thalia and other potential sweethearts. Here is a select list of those endeavors:

• Pretends to be terminally ill
• Rigs a raffle at a movie theater for money to take Thalia to the prom
• Borrows fancy clothes from a local tailor to better his wardrobe
• Sells sandwiches at a school picnic to make dating money
• Competes with Milton Armitage for the lead role in the school play
• Feigns a disease to be near an attractive older nurse
• Steals a rival football team's goat mascot
• Fist fights with Milton Armitage for the title of "Top Fist"
• Per Thalia's suggestion, Dobie reads a book on positive thinking to increase his mental powers
• Goes on a hunger strike to win Thalia
• Lies about joining the navy to impress a girl's father
• Takes a job in a shoe store to impress a girl's father
• Exaggerates his father's WWII military record to impress a girl with a military family
• Takes a job as a waiter in a sorority house.

In between his romantic antics, Dobie and his pals hangout at Charles Wong's Ice Cream Parlor that sells 31 Celestial flavors (or as Charlie would say "Flabors"). And, of course, if Dobie needs some private time, he sits on the well-worn park near the "The Thinker" statue, and contemplates how to solve his dilemmas, which generally revolve around girls or not having enough money to go on a date with a girl.

Dobie and Zelda Talk to Charlie Wong

While Dobie is always on the lookout for a beautiful girl, his faithful friend Zelda has already found the man of her dreams, namely Dobie. Despite constant rejections, Zelda stoud-heartedly maintains her love for Dobie and knows that one day he will give in and finally realize that she is the woman he really needs to make him happy. Whenever Zelda reminds Dobie that she is the one for him, she squinches/crinkles her nose, which triggers a similar reaction in Dobie and the phrase "Now Cut that Out!" After all, Dobie knows what's best for him and it's not Zelda. Or so he thinks. Zelda's relatives included six sisters, her mother Edna Gilroy, and her father, Walter Gilroy.

Dobie's goateed friend and constant companion Maynard G. Krebs (The "G" stands for Walter) likes jazz, plays the bongos, collects tin foil, enjoys monster movies [The Monster That Devoured Cleveland is his favorite film] and positively hates to work. Whenever anyone uses the word “Work” within hearing distance of this bearded bohemian, it causes him to wildly flinch and involuntarily shout "Work!” When he's not hanging with Dobie, Maynard stays home (1343 South Elm Street) with his pet armadillo Herman, visits Riff Ryan's Music Store to listen to records, watches the old Endicott Building being torn down or observes workman paint the white line down the center of the Elm Street. Maynard's catchphrase greeting is "You Rang?" As for clothing, Maynard's fashion sense leans on the side of worn jeans, comfortable sneakers and a tattered sweat shirt with frayed, torn off sleeves. Maynards' relatives included his father, his mother Alice Krebs (aka "Ethel"), his cousin, Jerome Krebs; and three other cousins, Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail. The longest word in Maynard's vocabulary is "Delicatessen." Oh, and he also walks in his sleep.

PFC Gillis and Krebs

After high school, Dobie and Maynard joined the peacetime Army for a while but then returned to civilian life and enrolled in S. Peter Pryor Junior College where they once again took classes from their former high school instructor Professor Promfitt. For an extra curricular activity Dobie worked as second assistant editor at the Pryor Crier, the college's newspaper, as well as a DJ on the college radio station KSPP.

A short time later, Dobie finally realized that his search for the perfect woman was at an end. It was Zelda that he had been looking for all along. They married and by the age of 40, Dobie had partnered with his father to run the Gillis Grocery Store business (later called the Gillis Market and Pharmacy). Meanwhile, Dobie and Zelda had a son named Georgie who eventually faced the same trials and tribulations in high school that his Dad, Dobie went through so many years ago.

Dobie's friends, too, had grown. Maynard had become an entrepreneur and the still spoiled, Chatsworth Osborne Jr. (called "you nasty boy" by his mother Clarissa "Mumsey" Osborne, Sr) had found time to continue his lineage with an equally pompous child - a girl named Chatsie Osborne III. Other Osborne relatives included his cousins, Sabrina Osborne, Pamela Osborne and Edwina Kagel, a third cousin twice removed.

Finally in 1988, the now well-to-do Thalia Menninger, who regretted not snatching up Dobie years earlier, returned to town and caused havoc by threatening to close down the local economy unless she got her man. In the end, Dobie stayed true to Zelda, and once again, all was well in the little town of Central City, USA.

And so the moral of the story is "You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time, you just might find, you get what you need." Just ask Dobie who finally found that special someone that he could call his own.

And, in the end, isn't that what we're all looking for?

Cupid Zelda hits her target (Dobie)

Theme Song Lyrics

Dobie, wants a little cutie,
Dobie, wants a little beauty,
Dobie wants a gal to call his own

Any size, any style, any eyes, any smile,
Any Jean, any Jane, any Joan.

Oh Dobie, wants a girl who is dreamy,
Dobie, wants a girl who's creamy,
Dobie, wants a girl to call his own.

Is she blond, is she tall, is she dark, is
She small, Is she any kinda dreamboat at all

No matter, he's hers and hers alone.

Continued Next Page >

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