Doug’s spitfire wife, Carrie [née
Spooner] is tough, nearly thirty-years-old, sneaks a
cigarette once in a while, cheats at board games, cooks lousy, and
works as a legal secretary at a posh Manhattan law firm (laid off in 2003)
She wears a size two dress and a bit too much make-up. Her mother Sophia
was heavyset (per the family photo albums). Unfortunately for Carrie, all
the women in Sophia's family "fatten up as they age.”
Now, the Heffernan’s lived
happily in their modest two-story brick home until Carrie’s recently
widowed father, Arthur Spooner - in his 70s - burned down his own house
and had to move in the Heffernan's basement that was supposed to be Doug’s
TV room. Consequently, Doug's brand new 70-inch big screen set got moved
into the garage (a.k.a. “The Love Zone”) and later was stolen when Carrie
left the garage door open.
To watch Arthur,
Doug and Carrie had a camera installed (“Arthur Cam”) so they could
monitor him in the basement.
Besides Arthur's boisterous personality, he exhibited a number of
other quirky traits.
When it comes to holidays, Arthur hates Halloween and bans it in the Heffernan
household (due to a traumatic childhood experience when his father
forcibly dragged Arthur around house to house to collect money and candy
because he was so cheap). But Arthur loves Christmas and will take on any
neighbor who thinks they can put a bigger wreath or better decorations. Arthur gave Doug and Carrie a a small European roadster
called a Douchenberger as a Christmas present which they quickly unloaded
to a friend.
In addition, Arthur once dated a woman who claimed she was once
Frank Sinatra's girlfriend. And he believed that Charles Schultz
used his likeness as inspiration for Charlie Brown and the rest of
the Peanuts© gang. He also purchased a partially engraved headstone
years ago that does not provide for him to live past 1999. In
November of 2001,
Arthur had heart surgery..
Now Arthur wasn't the only
one in the family with issues. Doug and Carrie, for instance, had a
problem keeping their credit card bills paid off. When they finally paid
off their bill after six years, Carrie went out and bought a $400
dollar leather jacket to celebrate getting out of debt, which put her back
into debt. To augment her clothing wardrobe, Carrie wears new cloth for a
week and then returns them to the store with the original receipt for a
refund. Her husband called her a “shopping bulimic” and she developed a
rash on her wrist from hiding the tags. OF course, Carrie buys Doug‘s clothes at the
“Big and Tall Shop.”

Doug on the job at IPS
Doug and
Carrie first met on a date (where Carrie was originally intentioned for Richie and Doug for her friend, Lynn),.
and over the course of the evening
Doug and Carrie fell in love. A few years later, Doug and Carrie sell
their engagement rings to buy a hot tub and satellite dish.
To spice up
their sex life, Carrie likes Doug to imitate the accent of his fellow
worker Rico to get her hot. Carrie, in turn, imitates the voice of Rico’s
girlfriend Francesca to accelerate the sexual mood. But Doug is easy in
the sex department, To get him sexually aroused, Doug thinks of Alyssa Milano, she’s sexy and her last name is a cookie.
Yum!
Although sexually active, the Heffernan’s have
no children, but time to time Carrie has tried to get pregnant,
without success. She had a miscarriage in the spring of 2001. Speaking
of childbirth once Doug accidentally shot himself with a staple and
when they pulled it out at the hospital emergency room, the yelps he
made were reminiscent of those heard in a delivery.
The Heffernan’s friends
included Doug’s former roommate Spence, a subway toll collector [he had
dated Carrie]; black IPS coworker Deacon Palmer, his sons Kirby & Major
[The Hefferman’s are his Godparents] and wife, Kelley [They are
separated]; sportswriter Ray Barone and his wife, Deborah; actor Lou
Ferrigno [a.k.a. The Incredible Hulk] who moved in next store; later
neighbors Mike and Debi, both yuppie professionals; Gary and Abby
Shropshire, a childless couple dubbed the new “Saturday Night; annoying
neighbors, Tim and Dorothy Sacksky; Doug's firefighter friend, Richie
Iannucci, a sports fanatic; and Holly, a dog walker who takes
Arthur on a stroll three times a week and listens to his WWII war stories. Arthur served in the 71st Army
infantry during WWII. Inspired by the book Tuesday's With Morrie, Arthur tries to find
someone to chronicle his wisdom.
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