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Initially, Ling was a friend and
client of Nelle Porter, a lawyer at Cage & Fish. ("Nelle is like a sister; when she's in pain, I throw up.")
Eventually Ling became a lawyer with Nelle's firm. Ling pressured Richard
Fish, the firm's senior partner to hire her services as counsel by licking
his finger. Unable to resist, Fish explains Ling's job as "supervising the
infrastructure handling her corporate ventures which will bring a great
deal of money into the firm." Ling's opinion on her new work environment: "this
is an office place, people shouldn't be happy." When
Ling approached her colleagues,. her arrival was punctuated with the "Wicked Witch of the West"
musical theme from "The Wizard of Oz." (Dum, de, dum, de, dum,
dum).
A fan of litigation,
Ling likes to sue people for just about any issue.
Ling once sued a person for having sexual thoughts about her. And once she
sued a plastic surgeon for false advertisement after she bought a pair of
silicone breasts for her sister but didn't look as good as the nurse who
demonstrated the product. Besides her dislikes for just about everything,
Ling especially disliked hypocrisy ("Hypocrisy makes me wrought.") and
sweat ("I have a thing about sweat. Even my own").
Once of Ling's most memorable case
involved a young boy with leukemia who wanted to sue God. Ling takes the
case, wins and gets the boy the needed experimental drug from "The Church"
who were held responsible because of their close ties with God (who caused
the condition). A short time later, when Ling learns the boy died, she
walks off down a corridor, away from the others, and tears streams down
her face. Over time, those who take the time to really know Ling discover
that deep down inside, she has a good heart, despite her "Dragon Lady"
persona.
Another example of Ling's good heart
happened when Elaine Vassal, the legal secretary from her office
auditioned to be a backup singer for Tina Turner at a local event. When
she lost, Ling paid one of the contest executives to tell Elaine (on the
sly) that the reason she lost was because she was just too good and Tina
Turner didn't like to be shown up on stage.
After a short time at the firm, Ling became romantically linked to
senior partner Richard Fish. At first she didn't want to have sex with
him. "It's not that I don't like [sex], it's just that I think it's
overrated. A lot of women don't love it, they just find affirmation in
sex. It makes them feel good about themselves. I already feel good without
the mess." Ling felt that sex with her would ruin sex with anyone else for
him. But eventually Richard convinced her by using his erotic "knee-pit
trick." ("Part of me wants to sleep with him, 'cause I know if I did --
I'd kill him.")
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Ling:
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Do my knee. |
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Richard:
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Ling. |
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Ling: |
Just do it. |
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Richard: |
Well...No. No. I won‘t
be used. |
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Ling:
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We can’t deny are
passions any longer can we? You want me and I want you. So let’s
just be honest. You do my knee and I‘ll give you hair. |
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Richard: |
You‘re pinching my
spinal cord. |
Ling enjoys foreplay. For example, she runs her tongue
up Fish’s index finger or gives "hair jobs" (dragging her long raven
tresses over a partner's naked body). To keep Richard interested. Ling
uses this special formula: "I take a little adhesive, I tape hundred
dollar bills to my privates, wear them all day long. Nighttime I get into
bed; I'm beautiful, naked, smell like money"
Despite her overt sexual nature, Ling
avoids using the word "sex" and instead uses the word "it." because whenever she says "sex,"
"it" drives men, and even some women, completely crazy.
Ling also attaches a great deal of
importance to a first kiss, for if it isn’t perfect, the moment is ruined
forever. Once, to assuage her curiosity, Ling shared a
Sapphic kiss at work
with fellow attorney Ally McBeal. The kiss was nice but no romance ensued.
Although the kiss did get Ally thinking about her sexual persuasion..
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"The Kiss" |
When it comes to men Ling is a "penile
psychic. She "can tell when a man is thinking with his unit." and
admits "What I really
want out of relationship is a penis." When Ling demands some "knee pit"
gratification from Richard (his erotic sexual touch), but he refuses and says what they really need
is good old-fashioned sex, and lots of it. Ling reluctantly agrees, but
warns Richard of her prowess and makes Richard sign a waiver just before
pouncing on him.
Continued next page >
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