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"Classic
Quotes" |
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Fun Quotes from Random TV characters
| Gloria: |
Do you know
that sixty percent of all deaths in America are caused
by guns?! |
| Archie: |
Would it make you feel
any better if dey was pushed out of windows?
--All in the Family |
| Diane: |
Oh no! The
thing I feared most has happened!
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| Carla:
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What? Your
Living Bra died of boredom?
--Cheers |
| Alex Rieger:
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One thing
about being a cabbie is that you don't have to worry
about being fired from a good job.
--Taxi |
| Uncle Jed:
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"If brains
was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan."
--The Beverly Hillbillies |
| Fred: |
Didn't you
learn anything being my son? Who do you think I'm doing
this all for? |
| Lamont: |
Yourself |
| Fred:
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Yeah, you
learned something.
--Sanford and Son |
| Carlos Nieto |
"Paint the
rooms new colors, you'll never know. I once rented this
place, husband had been murdered there. Wife took a shot
gun to him. There was blood on the carpets, the walls,
pellet holes...nobody would rent the place, so they
lowered the price. I took one look at it, signed the
lease, splattered it with some paint, steam cleaner,
good as new."
--Third Watch |
| Mark Devanow:
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"Women need
constant attention. Just talk to her. It doesn't matter
what you say. Two-thirds of what I say to Fran, I don't
know what the hell I'm talking about."
--Mad About You |
| Red Forman: |
"Son, you
don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen
to you is because you're a dumbass. Now fix it."
--That 70s Show |
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| Harm: |
[to annoying
reporter] You don't get it, do you? Those men lay it on
the line every day. Some die--for this country--for you.
If you can't support that, then you just back the hell
off!!"
--JAG |
| Holly the
Computer: |
We have been
traveling through the galaxy now for three million years
and there are many things we've discovered. The highest
form of life in the universe is Man and the lowest is a
man who works for the post office.
--Red Dwarf |
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Bill McNeal: |
It's like my father used to say: "When I was a child I
thought as a child and spoke as a child, but when I
became a man I took that child out back and had him
shot."
--Newsradio |
| Laura
Ingalls: |
"Life sure
was a lot easier when I didn't like boys."
--Little House on the Prairie |
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