Born February
16th, Phoebe used to live with Monica Geller at
Apartment #20 but moved 20 blocks to her
grandmother's old apartment on Morton Street
because Monica was a neat freak. Rachel Green
replaced Phoebe as Monica’s roommate and later
moved in with Phoebe for a time after Monica’s
boyfriend Chandler Bing displaced her. Once
after Phoebe got fired for getting to
affectionate with a client, she freelanced and
proposed a business called Relax-a-Taxi where
her customers got a massage during their taxi
ride.
Phoebe’s favorite
hangout is the Central Perk, a local
coffee bar where she plays guitar and sings very unique lyrics like "Smelly cat,
Smelly cat, What are they feeding you?" [it
became a hit record]. Terry, the Perks’ owner
once critiqued Phoebe’s singing by saying "It’s
not that your friend sings bad...it’s that she
sings so bad that she makes me want to gouge my
ears out and reach in and swirl my fingers
inside my brain."
Phoebe’s twin
sister Ursula [middle name: Pamela] works at a
nearby cafe called Riff’s Bar [frequented
by Paul and Jamie Buchman from Mad About You].
Phoebe is a vegetarian ["no food with a face"];
Ursula eats meat. Phoebe later learned she had a
half-brother named Frank and agreed to be a
surrogate mother for him and his new wife,
Alice. Phoebe gave birth to triplets [Frank Jr.
Jr., Leslie, and Chandler] and had to give all
the kids to his brother despite her request for
"just one." The babies were born while a TV set
in the delivery room broadcast a Happy Days
episode entitled "Fonzie Plays the Bongos."
During her pregnancy, Phoebe’s intense craving
for meat forced her to discontinue her
vegetarian diet until the kids were born.
Phoebe once
married a gay Canadian figure skater named
Duncan so he could get his green card. She
really loved him and later got really pissed
when he announced he wasn’t gay and wanted a
divorce to marry another woman. Phoebe also
dated Vince, a fireman; Jason a kindergarten
teacher; David, a scientist guy who moved to
Minsk, Russia; and a seemingly nice policeman
who one day shot a songbird through the bedroom
window to shut it up.
The three things
that you should know about Phoebe: Her friends
are the most important thing; she never lies;
and she makes the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in
the world. Phoebe used to believe her
grandmother’s secret recipe for chocolate-chip
cookies was tremendous and she wanted to give
the recipe to her friend Monica Geller as a
wedding gift. Unfortunately, the recipe burned
in an apartment fire. To recreate the
ingredients, Phoebe and Monica experimented with
various taste combinations only to discover that
Granny’s recipe turned out to be the same as
Nestle’s Tollhouse cookies. As a keepsake,
Phoebe keeps her grandmother’s ashes in a wooden
box under the front seat of her car (a taxi).
Phoebe divined her death date to be October 15,
2032.
Some Classic Phoebe Quotes
Phoebe: I got a call at like 2 in the
morning, and all I could hear was like this
high squeaky sound, so I figure oh, OK, so
it's like a mouse or a possum. But then I
realized, where would a mouse or a possum get
the money to make the phone call?
Phoebe: I didn't watch the ending, I
was too depressed. It just kept getting worse
and worse. It should have been called "It's a
Sucky Life and Just When You Think it Can't
Suck Any More - It Does"!
Phoebe:
You know, it's worse when you're twins.
Rachel: You're a twin?
Phoebe: Oh yeah. We don't speak. She's
this real high-powered, driven career-type.
Chandler: What does she do?
Pheobe: She's a waitress.
Rachel: So
Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for
my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Rachel: Okaaay. Let me put it this way:
Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice!
Phoebe:
Okay, okay, if I were omnipotent for a day I
would want, um, world peace, no more hunger,
good things for the rainforest. And bigger
boobs!
