'Hai Karate' Aftershave
- Back in the 1960s and 1970s, a lot of
companies were using sex to sell their products.
One of the more memorable came from the Hai
Karate after shave people.
ANNOUNCER: "Hai Karate aftershave is so
powerful, it drives women right out of their
minds. That's why we have to put instructions on
self-defense in every package. Hai Karate, the
brisk splash-on aftershave the smooths, and
sooths, and cools. Hai Karate, aftershave,
cologne, and gift sets. Hai Karate, be careful
how you use it."
TAG ads of 2005 where women
attacked young men wearing their scent, the Hai
Karate spots warned their customers to be on the
look out for wild women who were adversely
affected by the product's seductive lemon-lime
scent. Purchasers of Hai Karate received a self
defense booklet with tips on how to avoid
over-sexed chicks. The fun part of the
commercial was seeing dorky guys with dark
rimmed glasses karate chopping their way past a
throng of lust-filled woman.
Here is a script from one of their ads.
You're at the top secret Hai Karate training school. These
trainees are learning how to defend themselves in case
they get a Hai Karate! gift set for Christmas.
[Cardboard cutouts of women suddenly pop up as trainees in
karate outfits wander through an open field. The men
defend themselves with Karate chops.]
[Forceful voice] Hai Karate! There's a cram course on self
defense in every package.
apply more Hai Karate as three real woman approach from
behind. The men turn and defend themselves]
It's like super mistletoe in a bottle.
[Dorky guy fights off a pack
of women. Hai YA
The Joey Bishop Show
Joey Bishop: Now I'd like to talk to you men about this new
aftershave lotion, Hai Karate. [Joey makes a
karate chop motion] Just in case you
got some now or you get some for Christmas...
Regis Philbin: Remember, never use Hai
Karate without memorizing the instructions of
self defense that come in every package! You know why it's
Joey: It's a commercial. They're kiddin'.
The guy in the glasses?
Regis: Nonononono! It's true! Because you see
with just a little too much Hai Karate, your girl,
no even your wife, can become crazy! And attack you
Joey: Lay some on me!
Regis: A little bit over there...
Joey: All right, I don't need that much.
[Shouts and whistles from the audience. A bunch
of ladies approach and encircle Joey]
Joey: Ha! Ho! Ha! Help me out! Help me out!
Regis: Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Regis splashes Hai Karate on himself and leads
away the crowd of crazed women. Joey shouts
"He's got it. Go get him! Kill Him! Kill Him!"
as the audience laugh and applauds]
Joey: Now, that was a commercial. Without any solicitation at all, young lady,
would you mind coming up for just a moment? Now
really, you know we do commercials, and
sometimes we're terribly
unfair, because we don't become familiar with
the product. Would you mind for just a moment? I have a little
dab of Hai Karate on me. And I want to get an
unsolicited opinion. All right? Ok. Now
give just little whiff. Is that nice?
Girl: It's DELICIOUS.
Joey: Is it? [Joey throws a Karate chop
at the girl] Ha! Haaaaaaaaa!
Hai Karate Promo
"This special seminar on self defense and
scary sounding noises is brought to you by Hai Karate
aftershave and cologne.
For those times in your life when you
are heavy handed with your regular Hai Karate, careless with
your Hai Karate Oriental Lime, or irresponsible with your Hai
Karate Oriental Spice. Memorize them. They could be your last
line of defense.
Suppose you've just splashed on Hai Karate.
You’re sitting down. Reading your Boy Scout manual or working
on your butterfly collection, and your girl or, even your wife
attacks you from the rear. Here's what you do.
First scream "KAAAL-SHALLA!"
This is very important so try it again, "KAAAL-SHALA!"
Immediately after screaming, spring backwards, turning a
somersault in mid-air and trapping your attacker's head with
your ankles. This will break the hold and should get her
flustered. At this time, a counter attack is immanent. So be
As your girl launches a new offensive and leaps at
you, hold your ground to the last possible second and shout "FIORRR-
HA!" Once again "FIORRR-HA!" Then quickly drop to
the floor. As she passes you in the air, give her a stern
lecture on the importance of self-control.
By this time your attacker is subdued..
Give her warm milk or a sedative. And try to be understanding.
Remember, she's just experience a severe emotional upheaval."
Valerie Leon as a Nurse
in a Hai Karate Ad
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