The Family-Ness - A family of Loch Ness Sea Monsters featured on the children's fantasy THE FAMILY-NESS/BBC/1984-85.

The series followed the adventures of a whole family of sea monsters who lived below Loch Ness lake in Invervess, Scotland.

Normally the Loch Ness Monsters avoided human contact, but one day two human children named Elspeth and Angus McTout, befriend a sea monster named Silly-Ness by helping him out of a big hole and hiding him from being seen by other humans.

Grateful for ensuring their privacy, the queen of the Nessies gives the children a secret thistle whistle to be used whenever they needed the Nessies' help. To their surprise, when the children blow the whistle for the first time, more than 100 sea monsters emerge from under the waves. They included:

• Baby-Ness, the youngest of the Nessies

• Careful-Ness

• Cleaver-Ness

• Eager-Ness

• Eyewit-Ness

• Ferocious-Ness considered to be "The" Loch Ness Monster

• Grumpy-Ness

• Heavy-Ness

• Lovely-Ness. Her Highness, the ruler of the Nessies

• Mighty-Ness

• Speedy-Ness

• Sporty-Ness who likes to water-ski.

Mr. McTout and his children Elspeth and Angus

Additional humans in the area included:

• Mr. McTrout, the keeper of Loch Ness and the father of Elspeth and Angus
• Sargent McFuzz, the local constable who deals with all the Nessie sightings
• Willie and Tubby McFuzz, the constable's ill-behaved bully kids
• Professor Dumkopf who tries unsuccessfully to get a photograph of the Nessies in the lake
• Mrs. McToffee who runs a local candy store
• Mayor and Mayoress of Inverness who judge the annual Loch Ness Monster competition.

The Family-Ness was written and created in 1983 by Peter Maddocks, who also created the cartoons Penny Crayon, and Jimbo and the Jetset.

Theme Song Lyrics

There such a lot of mystery surrounding Nessie's Pond,
But if you have secret thistle whistle
You might find a Nessie of your own

McTout blows on his bagpipes,
Whilst Elspeth & Angus watch
Those notes go floating across the Waves.
Ferocious-Ness appears at once,
And grabs a note or two for lunch,
And the whole of the Family Ness is not too far behind
Sporty-Ness leaps over him,
Turns up-side-down and dives back in,
And the beautiful Lovely-Ness shows she's the kissing kind!
Eyewit-Ness comes up for air,
And taking notes without a care,
He turns, with a bash, and a crash and a splash,
To the Family Ness......

Closing Theme Lyrics

You can knock it,
You can rock it,
You can go to Timbuktu,
But you'll never find a Nessy in the zoo.
You may see an Anaconda, or Giraffe and Kangaroo,
But you'll never see a Nessy in a zoo.....