- "Okay, first
rule of this
carpool. No breaking wind in my
car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling
-- Bernie, The Bernie Mac Show
"A cardinal rule of
politics: never sleep with
a dead woman or a live man."
-- J. R. Ewing, Dallas
- "Here are three
ways for you to be very smart:
1. Stay in school;
2. Stay in school;
3. Follow rules
1 and 2."
-- Sonic, The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
- "Now here at the
Rock we have two
them until you can say them in your sleep.
Rule number one: obey all rules.
Rule number two: no writing on the walls. "
-- Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show
- "In religion. I
believe in God, in science, in Sunday
supper. I don't believe in rules
that tell me how I
-- Gil Grissom, C.S.I. Investigations
apply: no kicking, biting
or slapping. No projectiles of any kind."
-- Dilmon, Dilbert
- "We're not going
anywhere until the ground
First of all, this is not a real date. It's a
'non-date'. Second, no one must ever know about this
'non-date'. Third, if you touch me at any time, the
-- Laura, Family Matters
- "Ok Joey, we'll
do it one more time. Don't forget the
I win, Tails you loose.
-- Rachel, Friends
- "Look, all I know is
what they taught me at command
school. There are certain rules
about a war and rule
number one is young men die. And rule number two
is doctors can't change rule number one."
-- Henry Blake, M*A*S*H
got to know the
rules before you can break 'em.
Otherwise, it's no fun."?
-- Sonny Crockett, Miami Vice
gentlemen, I'll just remind you of the faculty
Rule one: No pooftahs.
Rule two: No member of the faculty is to maltreat the
Abbos in any way whatsoever, if there's anyone
watching. Rule three: No pooftahs.
Rule four: I don't want to catch anyone not drinking in
their rooms after lights out.
Rule five: No pooftahs. Rule six:
There is NO rule six.
Rule seven: No pooftahs.
-- Fourth Bruce, Monty Python's Flying Circus
Number Three: Don't believe what you're told.
-- Gibbs, Navy
- "These are the
no running, no playing, no
feet on the furniture, and no noise, which includes
crying and whining. Be invisible and we'll get along
-- Miss Parker, The Pretender
- "I don't know. Is it
sexist to hold the door for a woman?
Is it sexist to keep the attractive nurses and let go of a
few ugos? The rules are
changing so fast I just can't
-- Dr. Kelso, Scrubs
- "You wanna talk
You wanna talk all that old-school
bullshit? Then remember this rule: I am the
motherfuckin'-fuckin' one who calls the shots!
-- Anthony 'Tony" Soprano, Sr.,
- "All right
Blondie, listen up, here's the
away from my man, or you and I are going to be co-
starring in a play I like to call, 'Deirdre the Prison
--Deidre, Spin City
- "Okay, I've got
for ya. If you can get me to say,
spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards, I'll go
away until our dimension align again, in oh say, three
-- Mr. Mxyzptlk, Superman
all might as well be up in a tree
flinging our crap at each other."
- "Steven, you're 18
now. It's time to start being a man.
And the first rule to being a
man is you gotta spend
your life doing crap you don't wanna do."
-- Red Forman, That 70s Show
- "Didn't anyone
ever teach you the no talking in the urinals
rule? That's why there's
graffiti in front of you, so you got
something to read while you're keeping your mouth shut.
-- Jimmy, Third Watch
- "I only have ONE
simple rule for dating my daughter. If she sees your
penis, I'll cut it off. "
-- Dave, The War at Home