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Rules & Regulations - Random Quotes
  • "Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my
     car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling
     is unleaded."
      -- Bernie,
    The Bernie Mac Show
  • "A cardinal rule of politics: never sleep with
     a dead woman or a live man."
    -- J. R. Ewing, Dallas  

  • "Here are three ways for you to be very smart:
    1. Stay in school;
    2. Stay in school;
    3. Follow rules 1 and 2."
     -- Sonic,
    The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
  • "Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize
     them until you can say them in your sleep.
     Rule number one: obey all rules.
     Rule number two: no writing on the walls. "
      -- Barney Fife,
    The Andy Griffith Show
  • "In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday
     supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I
     should live."
      -- Gil Grissom,
    C.S.I. Investigations
  • "Standard Scrabble rules apply: no kicking, biting
    or slapping. No projectiles of any kind."
     -- Dilmon,
  • "We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight.
    First of all, this is not a real date. It's a 'non-date'. Second, no one must ever know about this 'non-date'. Third, if you touch me at any time, the 'non-date'
    is over.
     -- Laura,
    Family Matters
  • "Ok Joey, we'll do it one more time. Don't forget the rules: Heads I win, Tails you loose.
     -- Rachel,
  • "Look, all I know is what they taught me at command
     school. There are certain rules about a war and rule
     number one is young men die. And rule number two
     is doctors can't change rule number one."
     -- Henry Blake, M*A*S*H
  • "You've got to know the rules before you can break 'em.
     Otherwise, it's no fun."?
    -- Sonny Crockett,
    Miami Vice
  • "Well, gentlemen, I'll just remind you of the faculty rules.
     Rule one: No pooftahs.
     Rule two: No member of the faculty is to maltreat the
     Abbos in any way whatsoever, if there's anyone
     watching. Rule three: No pooftahs.
     Rule four: I don't want to catch anyone not drinking in
     their rooms after lights out.
     Rule five: No pooftahs. Rule six:
     There is NO rule six.
     Rule seven: No pooftahs.
      -- Fourth Bruce,
    Monty Python's Flying Circus
  • "Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told.
     Always double check."
     -- Gibbs,
    Navy NCIS
  • "These are the house rules: no running, no playing, no
      feet on the furniture, and no noise, which includes
      crying and whining. Be invisible and we'll get along
      just fine."
       -- Miss Parker,
    The Pretender
  • "I don't know. Is it sexist to hold the door for a woman?
     Is it sexist to keep the attractive nurses and let go of a
     few ugos? The rules are changing so fast I just can't
     keep up."

     -- Dr. Kelso, Scrubs
  • "You wanna talk rules? You wanna talk all that old-school
     bullshit? Then remember this rule: I am the
     motherfuckin'-fuckin' one who calls the shots!
    -- Anthony 'Tony" Soprano, Sr.,
    The Sopranos
  • "All right Blondie, listen up, here's the rules. You stay
     away from my man, or you and I are going to be co-
     starring in a play I like to call, 'Deirdre the Prison
    Spin City
  • "Okay, I've got a rule for ya. If you can get me to say,
     spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards, I'll go
     away until our dimension align again, in oh say, three
      -- Mr. Mxyzptlk,
  • "Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree
      flinging our crap at each other."
  • "Steven, you're 18 now. It's time to start being a man.
     And the first rule to being a man is you gotta spend
     your life doing crap you don't wanna do.
     -- Red Forman,
    That 70s Show
  • "Didn't anyone ever teach you the no talking in the urinals
     rule? That's why there's graffiti in front of you, so you got
     something to read while you're keeping your mouth shut.
      -- Jimmy,
    Third Watch
  • "I only have ONE simple rule for dating my daughter. If she sees your penis, I'll cut it off. "
    -- Dave,
    The War at Home


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