Crew of the Red Dwarf

Throughout the series, the crew of the mining ship Red Dwarf [Lister, Rimmer and Cat], the ship's computer Holly and robot Kryten mentioned particular Directives designed to conduct business and behavior in outer space.

The first SCD was heard during the episode "Polymorph" when Kryten the robot said "What about the Space Corps Directive which states, 'It is our primary overriding duty to contact other life forms, exchange information, and, wherever possible, bring them home'?"

Space Corps Directives

• SCD #003: By joining Star Corps, each individual tacitly consents to give up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.

• SCD #147: Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel except on production of a permit. Permits can only be issued by the Chief Navigation Officer, who is expressly forbidden from issuing them except on production of a permit.

• SCD #169: It's never said what this directive says either but it's probably has something to do with a sacrifice a holo-grammatic crew member has to take for the benefit of the rest of the crew. Kryten reminds Rimmer of this directive when he's mad about the "time-sharing" idea with Dr. Landstrom.

• SCD #195: Clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a holo-grammatic crew member must lay down his life in order that the living crew members might survive.

• SCD #349: Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.

• SCD #592: In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be granted to whichever officer can program a VCR.

• SCD #595: Allows you to keep people in Quarantine for a period of 3 months, however if the people can use Space Corps Directive 699 to demand a re-screening after five days, if no trace of disease is found they can leave Quarantine.

• SCD #597: One berth per registered crew member

• SCD #723: Terra-formers are expressly forbidden from recreating Swindon.

• SCD #997: Work done by an officer's doppelganger (duplicate) in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime.

• SCD #1694: During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked on.

• SCD # 1742: 'No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee.

• SCD #1743: No registered vessel should attempt to transverse an asteroid belt without deflectors.

• SCD #5796: No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.

• SCD #5797: (Possible Crew Safety Ruling. Rimmer uses this directive to forbid Lister admittance after he is suspected of being a Psiren).

• SCD #7214: To preserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers above the rank of First Technician must, during Panto season, be ready to put on a dress and a pair of false breasts.

• SCD #7713: The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.

• SCD #34124: No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity.

• SCD #43872: Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only.

• SCD # 196156: Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial.

Miscellaneous Directives

SCD #312 - Never explained. Here is episode dialog:

Kryten: What about entertainment? You are obliged to provide us with minimum leisure facilities. Games, literature, hobby activities, motion pictures.
Rimmer: And in accordance with Space Corps directive 312, you'll find in the storage cupboard over there a chess set with 31 missing pieces, a knitting magazine with a pull-out special on crocheted hats, a puzzle magazine with all the crosswords completed and a video of the excellent cinematic treat, "Wall-papering, Painting, and Stipling -- a DIY guide."

Rimmer: That's it I'm invoking space corps directive 6_8_2_5_0
Kryten: 6_8_2_5_0? But sir, surely that's impossible without at least one live chicken and a rabbi.
Rimmer: Forget it. Forget I was ever born.
Kryten: But sir, I'm very happy to perform the ceremony, but I'm bewildered as to how sacrificing poultry will clear up the screen problem.

All Nations Agreements:

Rimmer: I've no idea who you are, but boarding this vessel is an act of war, ergo, we surrender. And as prisoners of war I invoke the all nations agreement article number 39436175880932/B.
Kryten: 39436175880932/B. All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space. Is that entirely relevant sir. I mean here we are, in mortal danger and you're worried about the Chinese delegates bringing two cars.
Rimmer: Can't you let just one go, I was talking about the right of P-O-W's to non-violent constraint.
Kryten: But that's 75880932/C, sir.

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