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Alien Sex
Conehead Sex - The primary sexual activity of the Coneheads (aliens from the planet Remulak as seen on the NBCs SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE) is the touching of the "cone," (i.e.,"their pointy heads").

Touching of the Cones - CONEHEADS

When a Conehead wants to hone (have sex) they first engage in pre-hone activity (foreplay). To achieve sexual arousal, Senso-Rings (furry hoops) are tossed/slid on and off their cones. Because foreplay is so enjoyable, Immediate Progenitors (parental units) often worry about their Young Ones getting into trouble for Flairndepping (uninvited groping of the Cone with intent to hone).

When a Remulakan gets married it is called Geneto-bonding. These Geneto-mates (husband or wife) will make love in a Guzz Chamber (bedroom or lovemaking room) and sleep on a slar pad (upright bed).

The Guzz Chamber is equipped with a Pleasure Spool, a sphere charged with magnoelectricity that induced a satisfying tingling sensation to each partner's cones as they floated inside the charged orb.

On their Guzz trip, (honeymoon) they share the intimate secrets of the Plarg (male genitalia); the Sard (Butt-the Coneheads have no butt crack); their Gorelks (Two handle like growths protruding from the small of the back that resemble the horns of a giraffe); and their tongues (an adult Conehead tongue is nearly two feet long).

If the mating process is successful, the female egg's (they have seven eggs-four female, three male) will be fertilized and within four Earth months, the female can be heard shouting "Pluvarb" (as in "My water has broken").

Although most Coneheads practice monogamy, additional sexual gratification can be obtained by going to a Flarthag (prostitute) or by keeping the company of Frenetomates (concubine or mistress). The High Master (the Ruler of Remulak) may have up to six Frenetomates as well as his genetomate.

For additional information on the planet Remulak read: "Coneheads: The Life and Times of Beldar Conehead" by Tom Davis and Dan Aykroyd - as told to Gorman Seedling, INS Commissioner, Retired (Hyperion, 1993).


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