Chuck's Vanity Page -
At the sign off of the sitcom DHARMA & GREG/ABC/1997-2002
(and other TV show productions) the last frame of the show displayed sentiments written by the
show's executive producer and co-creator, Chuck Lorre.
videotaped the program could freeze frame on the message frame and
read a series of "I Believe..." statements written by Mr. Lorre.
The following is a distillation of some of those thought which
appeared on what Mr. Lorre likes to call "Chuck's Vanity Pages":
[Chuck's vanity card No. 1:] "Thank you for videotaping Dharma &
Greg and freeze framing on my video card. I'd like to take this
opportunity to share with you some of my beliefs. I believe that
everyone thinks they can write. This is not true. It is true,
however, that everyone can direct. I believe that beer is a
gateway drug that leads, inevitably to vodka and somebody oughta
do something about it. I believe that when ABC reads this, I'm
gonna be in big trouble. Once again, thanks for watching Dharma &
Greg. Please be sure to tune in again to the vanity card for more
of my personal beliefs."
[Chuck's vanity card No. 2:] "I believe that in my earlier
statement of beliefs, I erroneously believed that beer was a
gateway drug that led to vodka. After intensive consultation with
ABC executives, I now believe I was very, very wrong. Beer is
good. Especially beer brewed by major manufacturers, and enjoyed
in a responsible manner."
[Chuck's vanity card No. 3] "I believe that El Nino is an
international conspiracy perpetrated by evil roofing contractors.
I believe that TV is the cause of all the violence and immorality
our society - ha! just kidding."
[Chuck's vanity card No. 4 1/2: ] "I believe that all work and no
play makes Chuck a dull boy. I believe that all work and no play
makes Chuck a dull boy. I believe that all work and no play makes
Chuck a dull boy. I believe that all work and no play makes Chuck
a dull boy...."
[Chuck's vanity card No 5: ] "I believe that this episode, which
on the surface deals with a funny Valentine's adventure, in fact
grapples with the weighty issue of Weltschmera. Weltschmera is a
German word which loosely means 'world suffering deriving from the
inevitability of reality to never match up with our expectations.'
Hey, only the Germans could come up with a word like
that....Finally, I believe that when I retire and teach sitcom
writing at a community college, I'll use this theme for one of my
classes to impress the kids."
[Chuck's vanity card No. 6: ] "For those of you who are new, this
is my sporadic attempt to share my personal beliefs with millions
of people (hence the term 'vanity'). This attempt has led me into
communicating many deep thoughts, and, I'm afraid to say, quite a
few shallow ones as well. But what I've found most interesting is
that after a few weeks, I've discovered myself scrounging for new
beliefs. Things about which I could stand up and say with pride, I
believe in this, dammit!'...I do believe that JFK had a much
better understanding of the word 'perky.'"
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