Wanna Be A Ho - On a classic skit on NBCs SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE Eddie Murphy portrayed Velvet Jones, a supposed educator
from the Velvet Jones School of Technology.
One of the books (and courses) he offered was
how to be a prostitute. His sales pitch said:
"Are you a female high school dropout, between
the ages of sixteen and twenty-five?...Are you tired of lying
around in bed all day with nothing to do? Well. you never need
get up again, because in six short weeks I can train you to be
high paying ho...Just think-fifteen hundred dollars a week,
without even leading the comfort of your own bedroom.. Sound too
good to be true? Just send for my new book, 'I Wanna Be a Ho.'"
Velvet Jones follow-up publications included "I Wanna Drive a
Pink Cadillac, Wear Diamond Rings and Kick Women in the Butt."
(his how to be a Pimp guidebook); The Velvet Jones Harlequin
Romance series featuring Velvet Love and Kicked in the Butt by
Love ("I knew in an instant that the three dollars I had spent
on wine would not go to waste."); and an exciting new
videocassette The Exercises of Love marketed with these telling
word "Yes, it's all here: the squatting, the thrusting, the
grunting and the groaning. Take it from Velvet, these are
exercises you will want to watch again and again."
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