Dharma is the total opposite of Greg. She is spontaneous, free-spirited and lives in a world up in the clouds. While Greg is conservative, down-to-earth, level-headed and not much of a risk taker [he is competitive, however]. Before Dharma met Greg, she dated a guy named Scott and a guy who refused to get a job.

To better understand Dharma, you have to meet her parents, Larry and Abby [née O’Neil] who have been hippies since the 1960s. They never married but have been together for thirty years. Together, Larry and Abby raised their daughter in a bohemian lifestyle. They find it strange that Dharma married a member of the “Establishment” (Greg), but they support her, nonetheless.

When not hiding from the government for protesting during the Vietnam War, Larry worked a variety of jobs including a rodeo clown. He used to sing and play guitar in a band but he gave his music career up when Dharma was born. Drugged-out space cadet Timothy Leary was among the many people who babysat Dharma on the commune where they lived.

Over the years, Larry‘s health has declined. He has a bad memory, thinning hair [that he wears in a pony-tail] and hears a constant humming in his head. As a hobby, Larry makes hand-crafted furniture. His wife, Abby is a licensed Aroma Healer and likes to paint in the nude. Abby also supports causes like "Save the Ducks" and attended U C Berkley to take a degree in "Ornithological Intelligence" (the study of bird brains). Speaking of animals, the Finkelstein’s have "pet" names for each other. Larry is “Major Tom” and Abby is “Ground Control.” (an obvious homage to David Bowie). Now while their nicknames imply rocket ships, the Finkelstein's form of transportation is much more modest. They drive an old ice cream truck (later replaced by a van)

Meanwhile, back at the Montgomery residence, Dharma spends her days, meditating, giving Yoga lessons and enjoying the company of her pet dogs: Stinky, a shaggy, beige mutt; and Nunzio, a black and white Cardigan Welsh Corgi.  Amazingly, Nunzio is Stinky's dog which he received from Dharma as a bar mitzvah present. Although Stinky is the bigger of the two,  Nunzio is the duo's obvious leader.

Once, while Dharma and Greg spent a weekend at Larry's house, Nunzio and Stinky accidentally dug up a human skeleton buried in Larry's garden. It turned out to be one of The Finkelstein's old friends.

Besides Dharma's love for animals, Dharma enjoys organ music, the violin, boxing, and softball. She is also a rowdy San Francisco 49ers fan. On the flip side, Dharma hates people who wear animal furs and has a prejudice for "little" people. Always a fan of big yellow school buses, Dharma fulfilled her childhood dream and purchased one in 1998. And for a short time, Dharma decided to open up her apartment as a bed and breakfast. On the stranger side, Greg's parent have a horse that is in love with Dharma. And every seven years, Dharma makes it a ritual to unburden her sins to the world.

In her spare time, Dharma plays drums with a band called “Snot‘s Army.” For nourishment she chows down on health food, especially her favorite dish: tofu barley soup. Once, Dharma’s vegetarian principles inspired her to free a farm-full of turkeys one Thanksgiving. A big supporter of Nature, Dharma took it upon herself to block the construction of a new outdoor amphitheater to save endangered wetlands. Environmentalist Ed Begley, Jr. joined in the fight.

Dharma's courageous personality inspired a neighbor to create a sexy comic book superheroine called The Blonde Tornado which made the news when the real Dharma actually stopped a burglary. Another stint in the limelight occurred when Dharma's old performance artist friend convinced her to co-star with him in his latest work: To live "on display" in an art gallery 24 hours a day for a week.

Dharma has also worked as a black jack dealer, a waitress at Jerry’s Rice Bowl, a theme park mermaid in Florida and a member of a NASCAR pit crew. Since marrying Greg, Dharma has run for a seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors [but lost]. Her campaign slogan: “Improve your karma, Vote for Dharma.” However, Dharma did win an election bid for a seat on the co-op group (previously held by Abby).

Continued next page >