MONTGOMERY, Dharma & Greg
(Dharma & Greg)
San Francisco, CA
Dharma [née Finkelstein] is a dog
walker/trainer and a yoga instructor. She
is newly married to Greg Montgomery, a
Harvard-educated U.S. attorney with the
Justice Department. Dharma and Greg met one
day on the subway and it was love at first
sight. They married immediately, and ever
since have been trying to understand each
other and keep the quickly conceived
marriage together. They now share an
apartment in a renovated battery factory.
Dharma & Greg Montgomery
Dharma is the total opposite of Greg. She is
spontaneous, free-spirited and lives in a world
up in the clouds. While Greg is conservative,
down-to-earth, level-headed and not much of a
risk taker [he is competitive, however]. Before
Dharma met Greg, she dated a guy named Scott and
a guy who refused to get a job.
To better understand Dharma, you have to meet
her parents, Larry and Abby [née O’Neil] who
have been hippies since the 1960s. They never
married but have been together for thirty years.
Together, Larry and Abby raised their daughter
in a bohemian lifestyle. They find it strange
that Dharma married a member of the
“Establishment” (Greg), but they support her,
When I married Larry, my
mother put a curse on me.
That would be a curse
besides living with Larry?
When not hiding from the government for
protesting during the Vietnam War, Larry worked
a variety of jobs including a rodeo clown. He
used to sing and play guitar in a band but he
gave his music career up when Dharma was born.
Drugged-out space cadet Timothy Leary was among
the many people who babysat Dharma on the
commune where they lived.
Over the years, Larry‘s health has declined. He
has a bad memory, thinning hair [that he wears
in a pony-tail] and hears a constant humming in
his head. As a hobby, Larry makes hand-crafted
furniture. His wife, Abby is a licensed Aroma
Healer and likes to paint in the nude. Abby also
supports causes like "Save the Ducks" and
attended U C Berkley to take a degree in
"Ornithological Intelligence" (the study of bird
brains). Speaking of animals, the Finkelstein’s
have "pet" names for each other. Larry is “Major
Tom” and Abby is “Ground Control.” (an obvious
homage to David Bowie). Now while their
nicknames imply rocket ships, the Finkelstein's
form of transportation is much more modest. They
drive an old ice cream truck (later replaced by
Meanwhile, back at the Montgomery residence,
Dharma spends her days, meditating, giving Yoga
lessons and enjoying the company of her pet
dogs: Stinky, a shaggy, beige mutt; and Nunzio,
a black and white Cardigan Welsh Corgi.
Amazingly, Nunzio is Stinky's dog which he
received from Dharma as a bar mitzvah present.
Although Stinky is the bigger of the two, Nunzio
is the duo's obvious leader.
Once, while Dharma and Greg spent a weekend at
Larry's house, Nunzio and Stinky accidentally
dug up a human skeleton buried in Larry's
garden. It turned out to be one of The
Finkelstein's old friends.
Besides Dharma's love for animals, Dharma
enjoys organ music, the violin, boxing, and
softball. She is also a rowdy San Francisco
49ers fan. On the flip side, Dharma hates people
who wear animal furs and has a prejudice for
"little" people. Always a fan of big yellow
school buses, Dharma fulfilled her childhood
dream and purchased one in 1998. And for a short
time, Dharma decided to open up her apartment as
a bed and breakfast. On the stranger side,
Greg's parent have a horse that is in love with
Dharma. And every seven years, Dharma makes it a
ritual to unburden her sins to the world.
In her spare time, Dharma plays drums with a
band called “Snot‘s Army.” For nourishment she
chows down on health food, especially her
favorite dish: tofu barley soup. Once, Dharma’s
vegetarian principles inspired her to free a
farm-full of turkeys one Thanksgiving. A big
supporter of Nature, Dharma took it upon herself
to block the construction of a new outdoor
amphitheater to save endangered wetlands.
Environmentalist Ed Begley, Jr. joined in the
Feel the feeling.
I don't wanna feel sad.
Well nobody does, that's why there's
drugs, alcohol, war, divorce, catalogs,
plastic surgery and pudding.
Dharma's courageous personality inspired a
neighbor to create a sexy comic book
superheroine called The Blonde Tornado which
made the news when the real Dharma actually
stopped a burglary. Another stint in the
limelight occurred when Dharma's old performance
artist friend convinced her to co-star with him
in his latest work: To live "on display" in an
art gallery 24 hours a day for a week.
Dharma has also worked as a black jack dealer, a
waitress at Jerry’s Rice Bowl, a theme park
mermaid in Florida and a member of a NASCAR pit
crew. Since marrying Greg, Dharma has run for a
seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors
[but lost]. Her campaign slogan: “Improve your
karma, Vote for Dharma.” However, Dharma did win
an election bid for a seat on the co-op group
(previously held by Abby).
Continued next page >
The Dharma & Greg characters
are the property of ABC TV.
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