Sacred Order of the Stonecutters - Secret fraternal organization seen on the cartoon comedy THE SIMPSONS /FOX/1989+. Each session of the Stonecutters began with the solemn proclamation "the Sacred Order of the Stonecutters has since ancient times split the rocks of ignorance that obscures the light of knowledge and truth" followed by "Now let's all get drunk and play Ping-Pong." Members wore red robes and called each other by numbered names. Membership in the 1500 year-old group was attained by either being the son of a stonecutter or by saving the life of a stonecutter. The head of the society (voice of Patrick Stewart) was called Number One. To prove ones worthiness, aspiring Stonecutters took the "Leap of Faith," a blindfolded fall from a five-story building. To reveal the secrets of the organization invoked a curse that read "May your stomach be bloated and your head be plucked of all but three hairs." One of the group's party songs expressed the lyrics "Who controls the British Crown/Holds back the electric car/...and keeps the metric system down/We do!" Prophecy predicted the coming of a "Chosen One." He was to recognized by a birthmark shaped like two hammers. Homer Simpson bore such a birthmark on his butt and was elected the group's supreme leader (No.908). His coronation took place on Mt. Springfield. Later when all of the members tired of Homer's rule, they formed a new club called the "No Homers Club" to keep him out. 

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