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                                                                     Kelly:  Tonight, I become a lesbian.  
                                                                   Peggy:  I think you mean thespian, dear.

                                                                                              --Married...With Children

                                                  Jack:    For your information, most people who meet me  
                                                             do not know that I am gay.  
                                                   Will:    Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead
                                                              people know you're gay.  
                                                 Jack:    Grace, when you first met me, did you know I was gay?  
                                               Grace:    My dog knew.

                                                                                             --Will & Grace