Balki-isms - Colorful and often
misinterpreted phrases spoken by Balki Bartokomous (Bronson Pinchot), a naive
immigrant from the Isle of Mypos who moved to Chicago to live with his Cousin
Larry Appleton (Mark Linn-Baker) on the situation comedy PERFECT STRANGERS/ABC/1986-93.
Balki's favorite catchphrase was "Well, of course not, don't be ridiculous!" He
- "America - Land of the Free and Home of the Whopper"
- "Cuzzin, are you going to have a nervous break dance?"
- "Cuzzin', you didn't tell me we were fighting for life, puberty
and the pursuit of happiness."
- "Doctor do your duck impersonation. Cousin Larry says you
are a real quack!"
- "Hah-Wah-Ee-? Hah-Wha-Ee? Isn't that where the Japanese
bombed Pearl Bailey?"
- "Hello Mr. Elevator, May I call you Otis?"
- "I don't know Cuzzin, I don't care much for Mexican food. It
always gives me Monty Python's revenge" (he meant to say
- "I give, and give, and give, until I am blue in the head!"
- "I'm in debt. I am a true American"
- "If elected, I promise to be firm yet flexible, tough yet
vulnerable, soft yet absorbent."
- "If everyone knew how to herd sheep, there would be no one left to write
- "Listen to the wisdom that made Mypos great--there are none so blind as those
who will not hear."
- "New York City: The Big Banana."
- "Oh please, I want to ride the fire truck. It's been my dream
- "Paint me green and call me Gumby."
- "Patience is a virgin."
- "Raisin Poofs (Puffs) without raisins are like Snow White
without her seven dorks."
- "Stop it! This is a man of the loincloth!" (referring to a priest)
- "That was the straw that broke Glen Campbell's back."
- "That's where you're wrong, Mr. Pouting Thomas".
- "To forgive is divine - to be an airhead is human."
- "You stop this! Have you taken leave of your sinuses?"
- "You've made your cake, now lie in it."
- "We are lean cuisine, fighting machines."
- "Well bang my bongos and call me Desi"
- "Well feed me garlic and call me stinky."
- "Well, rope my feet and call me Dodi!"
- "Well rub my chest and call me Vicks"
- "Well, throw acid rain on my parade!"
- "Well toss my greens and call me Ceasar."
- "Well you know what they say, a bird in the hand will keep
pecking, and pecking, and pecking, until your hand starts
- "What if I lose my voice? What if I get a hog in my throat?"
- "Wool chiggers, wool chiggers! I see them little babies and I
get the hoobie jubbies!" (he means "the heebie jeebies")
- "You are a dishonest person and I wash my face of you".
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