TV Towns & Your
-- by Jerome A. Holst
lot of our recreational hours are spent watching
television. A recent study, sponsored by TV
Acres and conducted by the prestigious firm of
Dewey, Cheatum and How, investigated the
connection between TV Towns and the personality
of the viewers. The survey showed an actual
correlation between the TV Towns we watch and
our own personality. The survey revealed that
deep down inside we are drawn to a particular TV
town because it manifests elements of your own
your edification, we have listed the top TV
towns tallied from the survey as well as the
personal profiles that we deduced from the
study. Take a look and see if the results below
match your own personality.
What does choosing a certain TV town reveal
about yourself? Read On.
You are a laid back type. You enjoy a quiet
life. Sunday morning is your favorite time of
the week. You like to sit on the front porch,
and gently talk about the neighborhood and its
residents. You prefer a good home-cooked meal to
fast food. You are loyal and devoted to friends
despite their flaws. Church and community are
high on your lists of life's duties.
Twin Peaks -
You are kinky. You prefer the dark of night to
the sunshine. You enjoy eating cherry pie and
drinking hot black coffee "dark as midnight."
You like to visit strange and unusual night
spots. You are teased by danger and take too
many chances. You are compulsive note taker and
record all your thoughts into a small hand-held
recorder for future reference. sdarwkcab
gnikeaps elpoep raeh semitemos uoY.
- You are a skeptic. You distrust the
"Establishment." You are curious about how
things work and why they work. You don't believe
that Elvis is dead. But you like to tell the
story about the time you and your friend Bubba
saw a UFO flying over the lake while cranking
back a six-pack. You are fearful of door-to-door
South Park -
You are a crude, lewd dude. You like to break
rules and wind. You are slow on the uptake and
are not reliable. Your friends should not put
their trust in you and woe to those who do. You
hate the cold and overcompensate by wearing
multiple layers of clothing. Speaking is not
your forte and so you speak fast and mumble your
words to get a conversation over with as soon as
- You are a romantic. You have a good sense of
humor. You believe that home life isn't home
life without the love of a good woman and the
smiling face of a little child. You are
sometimes shortsighted and often fall over small
pieces of furniture in your path. Your ego
sometimes gets in the way, but in the end you
know that your wife is always right.
- You are a lothario. You love to watch the
babes. You prefer a day at the beach and a night
on the town. You buy cars with big engines to
compensate for your inadequate sexual prowess.
You spend to much time with hairstylists. Your
people skills get you through the day but at
night you feel lonely and disconnected even in a
New York City
- You like the busy hustle and bustle of every
day life in the big city. You consume massive
cups of coffee with friends at local coffee
bars. You don't take crap from anyone. You're a
mover and shaker but you have your vulnerable
side and need to know that someone loves you
despite your big ass ego.
- You live on the wild side. You like to wear
colorful clothing. A day at sea is preferred to
life on the land. The exotic is in your blood.
You enjoy a romantic stroll on a moonlit beach.
But action is in your veins. You love to drive
fast cars and solve people's problems. Let's
face it, you're cool and you want everyone to
You are immature. You are gullible. You make
lots of mistakes and are always getting into
trouble. You need a strong paternal and maternal
presence to keep your life in order. You are
easily swayed by your friends and often do
things you know that you should not. You have
issues with sibling rivalry.
- You are an idiot. You are lucky to be alive.
If not for the love of others you would have
been killed years ago. You are over indulgent,
especially with food and alcoholic beverages.
You have issues with children. You sometimes try
to strangle them to resolve your problems.
Relatives are low on you list of priorities and
if possible, you'd never visit them or let them
You are a casual dresser. Your idea of a night
on the town is to go to the local bowling alley,
knock down some pins and knock back some brews.
You are a sentimentalist. You tend to keep your
mind in the past and wonder "what if" instead of
looking to the future. But you have a lion's
heart and though ill advised, at times you rush
head forward into trouble. Luckily, you have
talents that get you through the bad times, but
through those times you still worry about what
the next moment will bring.
So how close did the survey come to revealing
the real you? Did it hit the nail right on the
head or was it way off base? Oh well, it's only
a survey. What does a statistical "norm" mean
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