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TV Acres Newsletter

Quotes from some
classic female TV characters

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." -- Roseanne Conner, Roseanne

"You know what really kicks a great friendship into high gear? Expensive gifts." -- Cybill Sheridan, Cybill

"You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard." -- Cordelia Chase, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"Men can't be rushed, they're like chickens. You cook 'em too fast, they get tough. Where you let 'em simmer, they fall apart in your hands."  -- Fran Fine, The Nanny                     

"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship...and never abandon a member of your crew."
 -- Captain Katherine Janeway, Star Trek Voyager

"Men are like gum anyway -- after you chew they lose their flavor."  -- Ally McBeal, Ally McBeal                     

"I'm from England, the country that used to own you people."
Daphne Moon, Frasier                  

"Murray, you have no idea of how experienced or inexperienced I am. I mean true, I'm not what you would call a wild woman, but I'm hardly innocent. I've been around. (PAUSE) Well, alright I might not have been around but I've been nearby." -- Mary Richards, The Mary Tyler Moore Show

"Well, all day long at school I hear how great Marcia is at this or how wonderful Marcia did that! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" -- Jan Brady, The Brady Bunch

"Well, I heard you were having a party and I wasn't invited, so naturally I just grabbed my purse and ran right over."              -- Mother Emma Buchanan, The Five Mrs. Buchanans

"My mother always used to say: "The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana." ..."You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or they die."
 -- Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls               

"Run profiles on all the potential targets within a 500-mile radius of the Centre. Everything this crew might be interested in. And I want everything you can find on this Detective Evans. If he stole a Baby Ruth when he was 6, I want to know how many nuts it had."  -- Miss Parker to Broots, The Pretender                  

"I think the scariest part is realizing that sometimes bad things just happen. No reason, no purpose, they just occur. And we're left to pick up the pieces. I guess that's what we're all doing all the time...just picking up the pieces the best we can." -- Sally Reardon, Felicity                   

"Suzanne, if sex were fast food, there'd be an arch over your bed!" -- Julia Sugarbaker, Designing Women                     

"Well let's face it Daddy, when Carol drives down the highway of men, she always gets off at the idiot exit." -- Barbara Weston, Empty Nest                     

"You may be immortal but I can still do damage. How'd you like to spend eternity in 5 pieces?" -- Xena, Xena: Warrior Princess

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