Quotes from some
          classic  female TV characters


"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
                                           --Roseanne Conner, Roseanne

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"You know what really kicks a great friendship into high gear? Expensive gifts."                             --Cybill Sheridan, Cybill


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"You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard."                 --Cordelia Chase, Buffy the Vampire Slayer


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"Men can't be rushed, they're like chickens. You cook 'em too fast, they get tough. Where you let 'em simmer, they fall apart in your hands."                                     --Fran Fine, The Nanny

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"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship...and never abandon a member of your crew."
                   --Captain Katherine Janeway, Star Trek Voyager

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"Men are like gum anyway -- after you chew they lose their flavor."                                        --Ally McBeal, Ally McBeal

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"I'm from England, the country that used to own you people."
                                                      --Daphne Moon , Frasier

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"Murray, you have no idea of how experienced or inexperienced I am. I mean true, I'm not what you would call a wild woman, but I'm hardly innocent. I've been around. (PAUSE) Well, alright I might not have been around but I've been nearby."
                         --Mary Richards, The Mary Tyler Moore Show

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"Well, all day long at school I hear how great Marcia is at this or how wonderful Marcia did that! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"
                                               --Jan Brady, The Brady Bunch

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"Well, I heard you were having a party and I wasn't invited, so naturally I just grabbed my purse and ran right over."
             --Mother Emma Buchanan, The Five Mrs. Buchanans

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"My mother always used to say: "The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana." ..."You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or they die."
                                           --Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls

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"Run profiles on all the potential targets within a 500-mile radius of the Centre. Everything this crew might be interested in. And I want everything you can find on this Detective Evans. If he stole a Baby Ruth when he was 6, I want to know how many nuts it had."
                                 --Miss Parker to Broots, The Pretender

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"I think the scariest part is realizing that sometimes bad things just happen. No reason, no purpose, they just occur. And we're left to pick up the pieces. I guess that's what we're all doing all the time...just picking up the pieces the best we can."
                                                       --Sally Reardon, Felicity

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"Suzanne, if sex were fast food, there'd be an arch over your bed!"
                                   --Julia Sugarbaker, Designing Women

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"Well let's face it Daddy, when Carol drives down the highway of men, she always gets off at the idiot exit."
                                            --Barbara Weston, Empty Nest

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"You may be immortal but I can still do damage. How'd you like to spend eternity in 5 pieces?"
                                            --Xena, Xena: Warrior Princess