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Words of Wisdom

David Letterman's Top 10 List - Each installment of the CBS late night talk show LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, featured host David Letterman reading his "Top Ten List" prepared from the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska (location of the home office changes from time to time).

Top 10 List Book - DAVID LETTERMAN

The list's general intent was to lampoon, insult or gently poke fun at persons, places and things (politicians, celebrities, fads and trends).

Here is an example of a Top Ten List from the December 1997 Christmas Season.

Top 10 Elf Pet Peeves

10. After too much eggnog, Mrs. Claus is "all hands."
9. Ever since they hit the big time, those damn Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.
8. Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"
7.  That idiot Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.
6. You're enjoying the Jacuzzi, and Santa gets in naked.
5. Now have to work through coffee breaks thanks to the McCaughey septuplets.
4.  It's at least a thousand miles from North Pole to nearest strip club.
3. Next to "race" on the census forms, there's never a box marked "elf."
2. Hookers who laugh when you take your pants off.
1. Health plan doesn't cover sleigh rash.


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